Monday, August 16, 2010

It was supposed to be a routine Pap Smear

I put it off for over two years. Well, no, more accurately I forgot and a third year slipped past and I was almost too nervous to make an appointment.

But I went. And soon enough, I found myself in that undignified frogs-legs pozzy on the doctor's bed.

She was a new doctor. New to me. Not new to the profession. And I was grilled - as always - about my reproductive history, given we were looking at *that area*

So then, she's shifting the speculum around and making disgruntled noises, which I thought for sure should have been my domain, given she was poking around somewhere rather delicate, and then she said, "Hmmmmmm....... that shouldn't be there. Did you know you had a growth on your cervix?"

Whoops. Yes. In fact, I did. I was supposed to get that seen to surgically about 3-4 years ago. Ummmm.

You would think that a thumb-sized polyp up one's nether region would be felt. Now that I thought about it, it had been. I had been (ignorantly) ignoring it and willing it to go away.

To tell the honest truth, I have had that much "intervention" in that area of my body that I think I just shut up shop. One of my personal trainers once told me she had never met anyone more in tune with their body than me. This was at the height of my baby-trying, baby-making, baby-dying years. No flipping wonder I had a sixth sense so well honed in that area that I could have cut laser-dyes out of metal with it.

Now, I have to go face the music. Muzak. Whatever. Next Thursday, I will be in the frog-legged pose with my obstetrician - always a pleasure, seeing him *turn to the left and cough... no, wait.... that's not right* - and I'll be attempting to bargain my way out of surgery. I do NOT want another general anaesthetic if I can help it. I have already seen my Homoeopath and we have begun a protocol that hopefully will see the polyp/offending barnacle shrivel up and disintegrate. I need six months to be sure, apparently. Already, I have had pains and smarts and similar such things in my nether region - as the remedies prescribed by the Homoeopath go to work.

In saying that, I don't like my chances (my Ob told me 3 years ago not to let it go too long) but I will be giving it my utmost to avoid the meeting with the needle, gown and green cap. And Dr R knows better than to humour me. So .... we'll see.

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