That's the number of words in my manuscript. So far. I'm told that's an excellent count, for when writers aim between 80-120,000 words, this is usually then diminished through cutting of sections and then it has to be padded out and tweaked to get to the final submission. So I have lots to play with already to help me with the rework.
There's been one person on my mind for quite some months now. Ironically, right when I was flagging with this "project" of mine, we happened across a documentary about J.K. Rowling, following her during the writing of the final book in the Harry Potter series. It was timely. And she was so interesting. And by the way, she only downed a half bottle of champagne when she finished the last chapter?? Oh... I suppose it was just one chapter. And, ah yes, she took it in one sitting. So, we're not talking about half a bottle for the whole book. Well, I was going to say! Right. Ummmm.... *coughs... shifts feet sheepishly*
I'm continuing with my writer's block at a cracking pace (hence the move to bring an Editor on board now). Now to actually finish the book - I have no clue yet where it will end, for I don't want it to be a cliché "happy ending", all rounded off now, etc., nor do I necessarily want it to end on a downer either. But to finish it, I will have to write more words. Words, words, words. Sigh.
My thoughts tonight, as I sip a glass of wine and stare at this huge wad of paper, over two years (not counting the actual prac!) in the making, are that I do know, deep down, why I've had such a block. It's because I don't know if I want this to become a real possibility. I don't know if I want to put myself up to be rejected - right now, the possibility of being taken up seems real enough. Right now, my optimistic brain thinks... "Well, why not you?" and I am reminded of the words of advice from my sometime mentor that I wrote about last February, when she quoted Mandela to me seemingly so long ago: "Who are you NOT to shine?" Indeed.
In the real world, though, this ream of paper is most likely going to end up in shredders of agents and publishers across the country. And I want to bury my head in my hands when I consider that prospect, for this is my story. Our story. My girl's story.
But I have to finish. It's pointless to come this far and pack it all in. Ho yes, I certainly have been considering that as a mighty fine prospect! I can't do it, though. I just can't let her (me) down like that. Not at this hour. So. I have to find a juncture to close off this first book and soon.
See you on the flipside of tomorrow's first meeting. Let the fun begin!
