But guess what happened! Noooo, guess again! Lolly appears to have been hit with it again :((
The LGBB woke up all listless and flaking out yesterday morning. I didn't know if she was coming down with anything. She went to see her "kids" in the morning, had a lovely time playing, didn't want to leave because she was cooking noodles, yada yada yada...
Except at every opportunity, she rested her head on me, as if it weighed a tonne. That was the first sign. She started to get agitated irrationally at little things - I mean, even moreso than your typical worldly toddler - and then when we got home, I saw them. Two spots. On her tongue. For the first time since September. And when I changed her nappy, her entire nappy area was covered in faded spots. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Because of how much pain she went through last time, because of how sick she was, because she infected us both, because we had to quarantine ourselves, I said a hearty "No, please, NOOOOOO!" in my head.
I put her to bed, she protested far less than she's been wont to do lately (another sure sign this could go either way and she might really be getting sick again) and wished her a wellfull sleep. I told her point blank that sleep is what allows her body to make her better. "So make it a good, well sleep, orright?" and she nodded solemnly.
When the LGBB awoke over three hours later, she was snarky. Sigh. We were in for a long afternoon, I gathered, she and I. I love the hugginess of her when she is feeling "poorly", though, I'll admit to loving that part about her being ill. So, with her arms slung around my neck, I carried her up to the couch, making arrangements with her to lay still and watch some telly with a blanket and a drink. She brightened at the suggestion.
But apparently I'm not a good movie-picker. Heh! Who knew? Remind me to tell you sometime about the movies on my favourites list in my brain. It's a doozy of a collection, I tells ya.
Anyway, at first credits of the movie I'd picked (Meet Me In St Louis), she shrieked as if I were extracting her toe nails with pliers. Farken 'ell, ok! No Judy Garland, I get it! Sheesh. We settled on (oh, surprise!) Hi-5 instead. She lay there, quiet and still. Resting nicely. So I chose this opportunity to do a bit of a body scan on her (with my hands). I have no idea how anyone else does this, but I can detect hotspots (only with my left hand, strangely) in people quite easily these days. I guess this is where there is aggravation of some sort, or a break point, and not necessarily always pain - a weakness there, I guess you could say - but I haven't yet mastered how to knit someone's pattern together to heal that area. That's what I'm learning: what my method is, using the tools I've been learning all year at Peace Space. See, they just give the why's and what's, they don't always give the how's. That's my homework... But thank gawd they're not shy about answering my billion and one questions along the way!
In the LGBB yesterday, there was heat radiating out of her forehead and eye area, rising about a metre out from her body before it dissipated. I was surprised how far out it went, I've only ever gone at most a forearm or so's length before I can't feel anything in my hand anymore. I gathered she had a headache but I didn't know for sure. Usually, when I ask her if she has a tummy ache or a headache she usually looks at me blankly and sometimes calls me "funny", for having asked I s'pose *shrugs* So I couldn't rely on her telling me what hurt or where - I had already asked, with little given in return to go on - but I knew she was out of sorts.
So then I focused on receiving whatever I needed to put in to her pattern. I saw a conical 3D shape, like a ring sorter, in different shades of green. Ok. I had/have no idea the significance of it or what it was, but I saw it so I put it in - sometimes, well actually most times, I just have to trust it's helping because sometimes I get nothing, so I can tell when I actually receive things to do something with... er, if that makes any sense whatsoever. When I opened my eyes (I had one hand behind her head and one over her tummy), the LGBB wasn't watching Hi-5 anymore. She was staring straight at me. Her eyes looked less sunken and she looked brighter in her face. Her eyes seemed bigger (rather, the irises) and we locked gazes for quite a few seconds, not speaking. Then she snapped out of the daze we were in, grinned, sat up, gave me a hug and said I was funny. She rubbed my back as she hugged me over and over, then wriggled off the couch and said she was all better now.
Uh. Well, good! I was confused, amazed, glad. She had been really flaky all day and had slept for so long, had woken in such a grizzly mood that I knew something was brewing. I was unconvinced it was passed, but if she had been given some relief somewhere, somehow, then I was happy that she seemed happier for it.
The afternoon continued, we played a bit of "ding-DONGGGG!!" doll house, she ate a little, drank a lot and then lost her oomph again. She suddenly came over to me, all whingey and pulling down my pants from dragging on them. "Mum-mehhhh, I'm very poorly", she said. And she was. Her eyes were all sunken and dark again, her face sallow. So I popped her on the couch and told her that when she feels poorly, she has to take it easy. Has to listen to her body and do what it needs to do to help her get all better again so she can play without feeling sick.
I was dutifully heeded and she lay under a cozy doona for about twenty minutes. While she was doing this, I was looking through my emails for something from about twelve months ago. In my search, I came across an email I had sent to a girlfriend, interestingly the month I got pregnant with the LGBB (not that I would have known it when I sent the email). In it, I had described that Jen had asked me if I realised that I would have to really rely on my ESP with my next child, because of the way that child would be "wired". I was surprised that I had forgotten and it was a timely reminder/confirmation that, yeah, look at all the things (and more as she grows older) I have been experiencing with her - trying to find my own balance, between helping her integrate her own skills and intuition without tainting it with my own/society's fears too much so she doesn't feel outcast or afraid to use it, has been tricky to balance. I know she is different. She is very special. But then again, I'm her mother! I'm supposed to feel that she is special. And after going on our journey to get her, it seems to us that she is infinitely moreso.
So anyway, to cut a long post a bit shorter, I decided to honour what she "knows". I wandered over as she lay on the couch and I asked her casually, "Hey, Lauryn... what colour would make you feel better?"
She thought for a moment and said, "Pink", with a smile.
"Ok, pink. And where shall we put the pink?" I didn't know. I had no idea what I was doing, nor really where my questions came from. Before I'd walked over to her, I hadn't known what i was going to ask - I just knew that I had to defer to her to tell me what she needed, something that, as a mother, is not often the first thought in my head. We are, after all, dealing with a largely irrational 2.5 year old Miss here!
Lolly pointed to her solar plexus area. That's where the pink had to go. "Ok, then," I said, "that's where we'll put it." And I did a few cursory hand waves, "shaped" a ball of pink and she watched me as I put this in her tummy. She smiled at me then. It was a bit unnerving. It was almost like she was the elder, saying with her eyes that, "well, finally! It only took you this long to figure it out." Funny girl, my one. Hilarious.
Today, I got a phone call from Neri (from Peace Space). She's stumbled upon something, which I'll go into in a later post. But it was interesting the symmetry it had with the situation I'm dealing with here with Lolly.
Did you know that viruses are (allegedly) always from a group conscious level? The LGBB has contracted this virus again. There was no reported outbreak the first time. And there hasn't been one, so far, this time either. I know she is a sensitive little tyke. But she's FAR from the only child who is sensitive in this way. I know there are plenty of other parents out there who are learning to help their children manage how to live alongside their peers and not absorb too much "stuff" from them and there are only going to be more and more kids born with these sorts of sensitivities. If only my parents had had a clue, perhaps my childhood would not have been so isolating, alienating. I knew I was different. And I was incredibly adept at shutting myself down from that side of myself, only awakening again when I was 26 and it was "safe" for me to admit what I heard and felt and saw. I don't want Lolly to deny any part of herself like that. It's like being split in two.
So what happens to these littlies when they go to, on the surface, have an innocent little play for a few hours with their friends at a child care centre? They're there absorbing like sponges. My role/ the role of the parent with a child who feels and senses in this way is to empty her out of all these energies she's been filled up with during the day. I've become mega-slack. I used to do it all the time when she was little - she first started going when she was eleven months old. She never got so much as a cold last year. I stopped doing this ritualistically and she has, in the second half of the year, been hit hard. Twice now.
One time, a few months ago, I used salt to help her ground her energy. It was unbelievable (and something you might like to try on yourself in your "spare" time!). This is a good way to trap and release impurities from your body, salt is used in baths to do the same thing but there's a way to do it without actually having a bath. I was convinced the LGBB wouldn't even sit still long enough for me to make the mixture up. How disrespectful of me to assume! She was riveted and very happily followed the little procedure. It's as simple as this:
Take 3 tablespoons of sea salt, place in a glass
Pour hot water into the glass - not too hot, don't crack it!
Stir. Now, the salt won't completely dissolve but that's ok.
Now lie on the floor, place the glass at the soles of your feet - we did it in a frog-legged type pose.
While in this position, simply ask that all energy needing to be grounded to go through to the salt. Lie there for a while.. cos it's nice to stop for a moment in a day!
This glass of water can then be tipped onto the soil in your garden.
It's okay to not fully "get" this in its entirety, the main thing is that your intention is genuine and clear.
What was amazing to me was feeling the heavy, heavy weight of the glass once we had done this! My gosh, it was so much heavier! It really did feel as though I had added rocks to the glass. I felt so good for having obviously removed unnecessary energy and used the salt to extract it. It was a very tangible way to realise what I had done had actually worked in some way/form.
I have to finish this here. So much to say, so little time. That'll do for now.
More later.
By the way, I do so very much hope there aren't readers thinking I'm neglectful for not taking my daughter to a doctor.... I am confident in how we're handling these flare-ups and my only reason for popping this in here is to enlighten any readers who may not realise how to remove this virus. Which is.... you sort of can't. Not by any conventional method, anyway.
In my now five-month stint with this H,F&M business, I have come to learn that there is nothing they can/will prescribe and that it is simply to be "ridden out"... I am finding and using methods of pain relief and deterrents, some of which work and others are not powerful enough to rid this virus from our systems. It seems once it takes hold, it is extremely difficult to budge. But we'll get there.
