Friday, April 25, 2008

Sweet sweet fantasy

I thought I had seen the most curious of car stickers recently when I came across one of those black vans (we call them abductor's vans, unfortunately, because they look scary and horrible and mean... you know those ones? With the painted out windows and the matt black paint jobs?). It had the very out of place words "Queen Latifah" emblazoned across its back windows. In that goth style font. What a fan, we thought as we drove on, rather amused. We'll never see anything quite that odd on a car, we thought.

That was until today.

Today, I saw a brand new red super sports Commodore, completely fitted out with mags, fog lights, sun roof, tinted windows, the whole works. It wasn't going that fast and I came up alongside it, curious as to what the driver might look like. Why? Because it had the name "Mariah Carey" done in the most huge lettering I have ever seen on a car's rear window. For a moment, I actually thought it must be her car. For who else would plaster that name across their car like that than the diva herself?

A devoted fan, is the answer. And there he was. Yes, he. Fat arming it and cruising down the highway with all windows down, as casual as you like, but strangely, as far as I could hear, not listening to Mariah. I was surprised, given his rego was "mcfan" (oh dear, I thought it was cute but it's not, it's not, it's just kind of ... oh dear), that he wasn't living up to the advertising on his new car. Perhaps it was his girlfriend's. Or his mother's. But then, if it was a loaner car, surely as a bloke you'd take a bus. Or a taxi. Or at least leave the darkened windows up. Anything to not draw attention to your chick mobile.

No, it was his car. He just looked toooo comfortable for it not to be.

And before I get them, please don't send messages asking me what's wrong with Ms MC. It is, after all, a very subjective question. I for one do not appreciate her music, even though I can concede the girl's got a good vocal range. So sue me. I guess I just didn't expect to be presented with a reminder that she even exists while I was driving. From a bloke, no less. Are there male Mariah fans? I mean, for her music? I haven't even come across any female fans, come to think of it. Not that there aren't any, I'm sure, I hasten to add. I bet she or he is listening to her caterwauling right now.

Backing away from my own post now. Very, very quietly.

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