Friday, July 25, 2008

Sixes and sevens

hI thought it best to update before bed. I know many of you have checked in today already, thank you for doing so.

After 8am I had no more pain to speak of. I've had thigh muscle pain (the sort you get when your period's coming, or when you've done 3 rep's of serious lunges at the gym) which doesn't make me feel fantastic about things.

HOWEVER... through all this doom, I've also not really had the usual end to a pregnancy that I, personally, am used to. I have to keep a glimmer of hope and light at the end of this (weekend long) tunnel. I'm also trying hard to look forward and not keep recounting my history on my fingers. Dates, feelings, gestations... I'm trying ever so hard to keep them hazy, for this is not any one of those times.

Most promising of all, tonight, again, the spotting has completely gone. I know I said that yesterday afternoon too. But it has. I'm going to take that as another small victory. Not sure how, but I am going to stay positive. The other little excitement is that when the pain subsided (and perhaps it was just explosive gut pain...?), I was left with the most familiar buzz in my belly. I've only ever put this down to "life" happening in there. I remember it with Ella and with Lolly. With my pregnancy at the end of '04, I didn't have it. But given that at that point I only had my pregnancy with Ella to go by, I thought not much of it. That is, until we discovered of course that it was not growing and had fallen three weeks behind dates.

Enough of that.

Precisely three more sleeps. And then I might be a little wiser.

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