A letter to Nick Jr

To: Nick Jnr

Dear lazy, predictable programming heads,

What gives with the saturation of Dora on your channel?

This is to inform you that I may just have the only child on the planet who is not into Dora the friggen Explorer. Thank heavens for small mercies, I know.

Would you, therefore, kindly refrain from airing back to back episodes of this garish, over-voice-acted cringe-worthy American-accented program in the mornings? Whatever happened to The Upside Down Show in the morning, for instance? Okay, so the guys aren't what you would call eye candy, but they are brilliant. At least it gave Australian children the chance to hear the accent of this country. And hey, they did that thing many children's shows don't do: provide intelligent humour invoking chuckles from children and their parents/carers.

Want an idea? Give Ollie his own show. An actual time slotted show, not the in-between-shows spots. The guy's gotta make a living. He is the figurehead of your channel.
And he is a genius - look at that days of the week song, for instance. He is a natural marketer. Give him a morning show! Imagine how much more entertaining this would be, for one example, if Ollie was hosting. Gold mine waiting to happen, I'm telling you!

Anyway, just some suggestions to float at your next programming meeting. Please... spare a thought for the kids who really don't want Dora droning precociously in their ears and are just after a nice bit of not in-your-face television every so often.

Cheers,

Mother of a Thomas the Tank Engine and Dora-repellant two year-old.