Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Sometimes, a girl's just gotta...

...focus some attention on herself and know when to have some time out. Some real time out.

Take, for instance:

Exhibit A:  Jazz. 

"Oh, don't look at me with those awful cow eyes" - All hail Basil Fawlty
She might be overly manipulating your emotions with her doleful stare, but let's face it:

She knows how to put herself in the picture. 

Literally, every picture (the ones I try to take of Pepper, anyway). She knows when she might be missing out. And she makes sure she goes first. Her waggy tail comes a banging second. To everyone and everything else.

So, taking a slightly less forceful leaf out of Jazz's book, I am going to attempt to step back from online life for a while and put myself back In The Picture.

Exhibit B:  a little just-turned-2 year-old LGBB 

The last musk stick

When in doubt, let it out.

If ever there was a better reason to cry - the ugly kind - it's to relieve some tension. It's to remind yourself you're alive and that you feel. And that you don't have to share the last bit of candy just to "be good." Take it for yourself every now and then. It won't hurt you as much as continual denial of anything good will. Go'orn, do it! Or at the very least, have that cry you've been holding in.

Exhibit C:  Pepper's shut-out tactics 

"Oh please don't let her be there when I turn around..."

I can't hear you, I can't hear you, I can't hear yoooooo

There comes a time in every blogger's life when they have to stop criticising their own blog, their own writing, just because of all the brilliance and shining lights they see around them. This is always amplified when the blogs they read and comment on don't reciprocate. So much of this dance is "chance". There are fly-by-the-seat-of-their-pants readers with no regularity to their visits or comments - I know this. I am one of those. There are also diligent, read-every-post-you-write because they adore you readers - I know this as well. I am also one of those. I have my favourites I never miss, my favourites I always try to keep up with but often fall abysmally short of visiting with any regularity until it becomes habit.

I adore finding those bloggers whose voices are so unique, so real, so consistent because of where they are writing from: their blinkered hearts. These are often bloggers with scarce "followers", no Fan Page on Facebook and no Twitter account. They don't seem to follow a large number of blogs. They are quality over quantity. They're rather rare gems. But find the ones that speak to you and you will discover you are mulling over things they say in their posts, smiling at words remembered, waiting for their next entry.

You can't be liked by everyone, you cannot make everyone a "friend" (especially not on Facebook, in fact it's recommended you don't...), regardless of how many blogs are in your Reader (I still don't use mine, shhhhh). But don't forget, you too are a Light. There is no other You. Hold your own torch up high and light your own way forward. Those who feel good in your Light will come find you. Don't worry!

- - - -

There is nothing quite so stifling to me as a writer than reading more than I write. And that is what I have been doing. I realised it last night.

For the next while (it could be a day, I hope it's not as long as a month) I am putting some breathing space between me and my blog. I will be creating, you can be sure of it. Writing, not blogging. Living, not reading. I am in a purging stage at home - our Ebay sales are about a quarter of the way towards my goal already! - and I can't hold onto all this as well as let go all of that. It's counter-productive.

So, off I go. Please promise you'll swing back past every now and then - why not play a game of Roulette and pick an archive post at random and give it a read while I'm gone? Better still, dip in or share the Infertility/Loss posts I have recently categorized. If you want to be super-ace, you can up my vote count with a single click just to make me feel warm and fuzzy... it won't help me win anything, that horse has long bolted... but oh, how I love a round number. Thank you if you are one of the lovely people who helped me tip the triple figure mark (allllmost)!

Guaranteed, I'll be unable to stay away too long. I hope to read you all soon.

.....Oh, and have the last musk stick. That's an order.


p.s. How cool is this: I added a favicon to my blog. See it? Up there? A little tiny sunrise on your page tab!

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