Uh, waitress, that's not the garnish I expected...

Skin. I peeled ... my skin. With a vegetable peeler, of course. How else would one do it??

Note to self: If I must park my brain whilst handling sharp (new) kitchen utensils, then I should at least put them down when attempting to cut corners and unwrap the cucumber. No hastening of the process can be made if I have to down tools (and cucumber waiting to be peeled) so that I can squeeze shut the wound on my finger - after first (you'll love this bit) unwedging the peeler's blade from its lodgement at the quick of my nail - and doing the wincy-ouchy-"fakari-rug-that-hurt" dance.

Especially not good if you need two bandaids and bleed out of them in less time than it takes to make your sandwich.

D'oh.