The Original Secret Keeper

My high school best friend. My girl.

I haven't seen Jayne for over 12 years. We were in different places when we last spoke. My method of dealing with things at that time (aged 22 and about to get married) was to just run away. There was no fight, no falling out. But... one of those inexplicable "things" happened and we parted ways. Perhaps it was that we were at different points of our lives then. Don't know.

For all the years since, Jayne has remained in my heart the "one that I let get away". And with my growing awakenings and the natural maturity that comes with age, I have become more and more adamant that I must, before it's too late, contact her again. But how? I couldn't find her! (She's not on Facebook either)

I tried a number of times, a number of ways, but I had really fallen away from all the crowd of my high school days. I was friends with mostly boys, although had some girl friends. And then there was Jayne. My constant companion from the second year. She, more than anyone, nurtured my healthy respect of The Jackson Five, T-Rex, fed and matched my admiration of Chevy Chase movies, Weird Science, Robert Downey Junior and, of course, was half to blame for the reason why I can recite soooooooooooooo many movie lines (omg... SO many.... none of you really have any idea.... Steve does. And Jayne does, cos she can match me, hands down).

After school, we hit the nightclubs together. I remember falling up her stairs, more than once, at dawn. Her family was mine and I was treated like a sister and daughter there. When my mother kicked me out for no apparent reason when I was 17, it was to Jayne I begged, "Please, can I move in with you guys... I'll pay my way." But it wasn't a feasible arrangement, not on any permanent, formal basis. I practically lived there anyway, but things changed for me during that second last year because of my home life. And then, in our final year, although Jayne and I were tight as we had ever been, along came Steve. She shuffled over to give him room. He fit well. Her parents loved him (everyone did) and we carried on.

I never thought our fun and laughter and deep, deep friendship could ever come undone. But it did. For no real reason.

So when Steve attended his reunion two weeks ago, he sounded out her brother because, while not friends themselves, they had been in the same year (four years ahead of us).

"Ohhhhh, she'd LOVE to hear from her, I'm sure!" Ben had said. "She and Jayne were so close!"

Well. That's all I needed. I had to try. I was desperately worried the response would be less than savoury and I didn't want to really know that Jayne didn't want to speak to me. Not, mind you, that I had any firm reason why she wouldn't want to. But still.... various attempts via the one mutual source had failed to turn up any email address or other way to contact her. So I didn't push and assumed that person had been asked not to pass any details on.

Turns out, a brother is a handy thing for a girl to have sometimes. Ben came up with the goods and gave me Jayne's mobile number. I sent as short an sms as I could (ok, it was 4x longer than your average single text message... but this is me we're talking about here) and threw in a suitably random couple of quotes from movies. Which she got. And replied back to immediately. And wouldn't you know, the same fear (that I wouldn't want to hear from her, after all this time) was in her too. I am even more glad I tried to find her. And strangely, or perhaps not, the same mutual acquaintance seemed to stall her as well - not replying to her request for my contact details.... Curious. But not important anymore.

The relief I have felt today, since hearing from my dearest, dearest friend when we chatted on the phone for two short hours, has been immense. Uplifting. So exciting! She knew nothing about my last 12 years so, of course, there were a few catches of breath and a number of "My poor darling"s from her. She has two daughters herself, a bubba and one little girl about a year younger than the LGBB with a strikingly similar name.

Possibly the best part is, she is this very weekend about to return to this area (to rent) and will only be a mere 20 minutes or so away! They plan to settle not too far from here.

I am full tonight. Full of joy and hope and happiness. Bring on the end of this decade. I have made my goodbyes to it and am ready to move forward. You did all realise that the number 10 (reduced to 1, numerologically) is the begin-again number of Magenta. Didn't you?