Sunday, October 25, 2009

If dogs look like their owners...

... does that mean I have a big long snout?

Me and my Old Lady, taken by Steve during a hugfest yesterday.

Peppy always smiles like this when you give her a big old bear hug. She is the most affectionate dog and used to put her paw inside my hand or on my leg every time she'd come sit by me for a hug. In recent months, her dodderiness is so profound now that she hasn't the balance to take any of those paws off the ground and use it as a show of endearment. So what she does now is put her head down and rest it on whatever part of my body it reaches first, usually my lap or my arm.

I'm getting ready to find her, slipped away peacefully somewhere. I look at her sometimes and she looks at me, we lock gazes for ages and ages and I'm always left thinking, "Damn, is that the last time I'll see your misty brown eyes, you big old softy?"

I never really stepped back and looked at just how much of a comfort this old girl has been to me, until I wrote her in to my book. And now, those moments I've shared are some of my favourite parts of the book.

She has taught me much, which reminds me .... I still haven't written up the Dog totem here!! Promises, promises...

Love her to pieces. I think she's going to take a while to "get over".

And always, every day, there was Pepper. My trusted and dependable dog. She brought me joy. When I sat in our garden, which was often, she would lay beside me in a very regal pose. A true and valiant protector. In fact, she rarely left my side. I wouldn’t have minded so much, if only she didn’t moult on anything she brushed against. Still, it was a minor annoyance I overlooked to receive her lovely affection. Somehow, she could even make the pain of a miscarriage more bearable. When the familiar premenstrual twinges and contracting rose in my belly and the muscles in my thighs and low back ached as the waves came on stronger, I would always be able to wander out and find her. Sit by her and give her a huge hug around her body or just stroke her ears, her head resting on my knee. It gave me a chance to focus, this time-out. I would always be able to work my mind back around to the people and things around me that I could be thankful for and by no means least of all on that list was Pep. With her silent, doggy-love brand of guidance, I was always able to reach again to my inner happiness and joy, pause with her and refill my mind and outward personality with it.

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