Friday, October 16, 2009

The ungrateful wench

I'm just feeling like the worst person in the universe today. I am so resentful of my head being invaded hour upon hour upon minute upon second of every damn day - what isn't filled with work of one kind or another is taken up by this little person who never, ever seems to spend any time on her own. Why can't we just be here, existing, for just a few minutes without having to talk to each other??

We've certainly hit another "stage". Just curious: is there one that is recognisable by the incessant "No"s to anything you suggest? Or anything that doesn't involve your input, I should clarify. And whining like the sky is falling down at every little thing? The only distraction is TV and that is too much of a trap for me to fall into on a long term basis. Sometimes, a day will pass and I'll think, 'Gee, she didn't watch anything today' and that is far too rare these days for my liking.

I feel so awful for wishing she would go away - to another room... hell, I'd be happy for 3 metres - but I need space. I have other things to think about (all directly or indirectly related to her health and wellbeing, like washing, shopping, cleaning, cooking) and I have just HAD THE HELL ENOUGH today.

I can't do it today. I'd create a sibling, I think, if I could. Just to satisfy my nagging curiosity that she and I would be better off with another person in the house. I think I would opt for siblings fighting than having her hanging off me every day for the past 3+ years. I wouldn't mind so much if she moved away and entertained herself every so often. And I guess I should be flattered - heck, I've got to be the ONLY toy she's never grown tired of - but aaaaaaaaaaargh, god, I cannot play one more game or wait while she slowwwwwwwly takes her sweet time doing *whatever* and knowing I am the captive audience of one.

Help me! Fecking drowning today and not liking it one iota.

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