Thursday, February 12, 2009

The Big Girl

The LGBB has begun announcing that she's a "big girl". I am taking this opportunity and flagrantly exploiting it by announcing that "big girls don't wear nappies." It's an ongoing thang.

Yesterday, she came out of our ensuite with her arms outstretched to the sides. I could swear it looks like she's airing her underarms, I remember thinking.

And so she was, apparently. She walked past me, all teenager-like, and says with a flick of her wrist as if to motion towards her damp armpits, "Did my armth." Like, as if I was not supposed to touch said "armth" in case I ruined her application of my roll-on deoderant. See, I knew exactly what had gone down as soon as she'd said that. She had been in my "lady drawer" in our bathroom and used my deoderant stick on herself like I sometimes do, pretending to roll it under her clothed armpit. With the lid still on.

Oh how I hope she never discovers there's a lid on my deoderant. Or that lipsticks and balms have twisting applicators that make the good bit go up and down. I'm just waiting for that one, too.

Tonight, after various challenges throughout the day, which are increasing in intensity and frequency lately (and not nearly as funny or cute as that aforementioned anecdote), I had to do a straight-faced, silent giggle into my dinner when all of a sudden, Miss 2.7 beside me puts down her fork, leans back as if to stretch her belly like Uncle Rob does at Christmas time after too much turkey and says, putting her hands behind her head, "I'm just checkin' ponytail." I tried not to make eye contact. Oooookay.

"You," the LGBB went on, motioning at me with a wave of one hand, "eat and talk."
"Eat and talk?" I asked.
"You.... you, you, you (she's got a fast-mind stutter thing happening lately) keep eating and talking. To Daddy."

Right-eo. Not only must I do as she says, I have to do it with whom she says too now. This kid's got ideas. If she learns how to program the Foxtel iQ so that Hi-5 continues recording, I'm screwed. She will officially no longer need me.

And now, here is the girl herself, signing off:

flhfffff3uuhuH3uy5y29J2P02JP0ZΩ∆ƒΩªqjjjjjjjjjjjjzz8,zz 050iwt9509t0 g drrr

HOW do you get those strange symbols? If she's gone and sworn in Latin, and you speak Latin, well I do most heartily apologise. Only a flat-handed toddler on a keyboard could conjure them up onto the screen, 'eh?

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