Sunday, January 10, 2010

The Anti-Resolution List

What are your Anti-Resolutions?
Lessons learned -never-to-be-repeated again things? Tell us about resolutions you've broken before, the ones you'd never make - Make a list of 5 resolutions you plan to break! Make resolutions for someone - a celebrity or politician if you like!

A new BlogThis challenge (my first for the New Year!), how fitting as I haven't done one for a while...

I don't make resolutions, really, because I know I'll probably break them, although some years I do like to have a To Do list. So a list of resolutions I'd never make, with the lessons lending themselves from some of my previous entries (see the links throughout the post for backtracks), would easily go something like this:

Never allow friends to be the tally keeper of a) my number of drinks, or b) the pourer/s of said drinks.

Never read Twilight or any of the sagas. I've held out this long, no point giving in now.

• Don't bother with child locks or any other devices to prevent the young lady of the house from going where she oughtn't. She's onto me and should also be in the Safety Design Dept at Clipsal. They could use her.

• Never, ever, EVER cut corners with a sharp utensil in hand. And I don't mean literal corners (for running with scissors/knives would be even stupider), I mean short cuts that you think are oh so smart and time saving.

• Whatever I do, I must NOT put still-warm pureed vegies in the freezer! OHMYGOD why didn't I think they would expand out of the bag and then take me 3 months to chisel off the base of the freezer compartment where I stored them?? A recipe for disaster.

• I won't bother using a useless household item just to prove a point with my husband. Life's too short. And so is my broom handle.

• Never believe for one moment that I am more amusing than the dog. I just make good lunches and know how to turn on the teev, and that's all I feel useful for some days.

• And just on that dog, it is a MUST that she (they) never be given access to the underneath of our house. We're not made of money! And now we're going to freeze into iceblocks every winter, thanks to the more brain-stunted one.

• However, I WILL make it known that I shall be endeavouring to put more dress-ups on the dog. Because nothing makes me laugh harder.

• Never attempt to keep up with our lemon tree by way of cooking. Never think I've even got enough friends, relations and neighbours to ever want THIS MANY lemons. The tree is insanely productive.

• Never take my eyes off my complementary restaurant bread when my daughter is around (it's mine, I love them, she's got her own and it's too bad for her if she scoffs hers faster).

• Never, no NEVER, lend out my Matchbox cars to "friends"..... And I will be making sure I raise the LGBB to do the same. Yes, I'm still seething about the VW Golf. No, I don't think that's strange seeing as I'm a mid-30-something year-old woman and still love that particular friend to death, yet have never told her SHE HAS MY CAR.

• And here it is: my last-ditch effort to give myself some good old-fashioned reverse psychology and vow..... I will NOT finish my book in 2010. There. Lessee if that trick works so I can finally put closure to the last page and get it out there already. Sheeeesh!!!!

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