#2 - Think twice about going too hard if you've already got a virus in your system.
#3 - Definitely not a good idea to drink over a 12 hour period and only have a light meal somewhere in there.
#4 - Totally bad to mix drinks.
#5 - Do not accept drinks from the bartender if she's a girlfriend *googly eyes* or else she will effectively ply you with - wait for it - half a bottle of vodka over the course of letting out the secret you've never told anyone face to face. It will make your tears pop out perpendicular to your face, for starters.
#6 - If you decide collectively to go out and have a dance, it's probably best not to leave after midnight. Especially so if you have just finished your D&M to end all D&M's.
#7 - Bit late to wonder to yourself how it was that you never had drunken nights quite like these as a younger lass, which leads to musing if you might have pulled up any better in a body that was fifteen years younger.
#8 - If you are going to have your very first ever alcohol-induced power chuck, remind yourself that the "feel better" high you're on as you saunter out to where your girlfriends have been sitting chatting, waiting for you to get up for the past 3 hours, is not going to last. You will also then have to stay home in your self-inflicted state while they go to Acland Street for brunch and stroll through the St Kilda market without you. Consoling yourself with the fact that, hey, at least you got to have a lie-in with Foxtel in the hotel room is optional at this point.
#9 - If you intend on letting them in on your revelation - "Now I know why I've never had a hangover. I just wasn't drinking enough" - be sure to realise they will forever more pin that on you as your new motto.
But mostly,
#10 - Make sure you take the time to make time and do this weekend away, without fail, every year from now on. Sans the drinking to the point of Rendered: Useless for a day, of course.
Never, ever again [cue gut-wrenching sigh with a grimace]
Good people. Seriously, unbelievably good and decent people exist in this world. I am so pleased and humbled these women have sauntered into mine.
