I quote in the title of this post from the Spider animal totem, one of many that may be found online. Because, dang, yet again there is a spider in my life! This time, for the very first time, it is a hulking ruddy great huntsman who has sidled on in next to me (yuh-huh, a REEAAL one, trust me!) and he ain't budging.
Yesterday morning, I got up with the full intention of spending the few hours that the LGBB was at occasional care, in full concentration on my book I'm writing. When I walked out into the living area to start the computer, there it was in the corner of the room. Steve confessed that high ceilings, ornate cornices and leggy pidies first thing in the morning are not his thang. And off he skipped, tra-la-la, to work. Oooooh-kay then. I supposed I would have to just hope there was some mercy and that the spider wouldn't move while I took Lolly up to visit with her friends.
I came back home and it had not moved. Earlier in the morning, I had watched it come towards me across the room and from where I was standing in the kitchen, preparing the LGBB's lunch, I could no longer see it when it went behind a beam in the middle of the ceiling (it's an old house, there's weird cornice and beam arrangements, just go with me). But settling in at my desk later, I realised that it had full view of me, and me of it, which sort of suited me fine because at least I could keep track of it up/over there.
By the end of yesterday, though, including going to collect Lolly and a trip to the shops and so forth, it remained in its corner. And there it has stayed. It's still there now.
Ummmmm..... and I'm ok with it. Errrr, I really am! How bizarre. I am the BIGGEST freak-out freakoid can't-sit-still let alone enter a room where there is one, in the past, but I don't know about this one. He's almost like a writing companion.
And then, I was talking on the phone just now with Jen from Peace Space. And blow me down with a feather, she told me that they represent our creativity. Guffaw guffaw guffaw. So I looked it up (I mean, I know I only recently gave a long quote aboutSpider wisdom on this blog, but I wanted to find out some more general stuff about them, seeing as how I'm, y'know, all cool hangin' with Mr H and all over there...) and uh, aw my gawd get a load of this:
For the two-legged beside whom Spider crawls, there will exist a depth of creativity that may manifest in any of a myriad of ways. Perhaps the talent is in writing prose that conveys depth of feeling and spirituality, or it may be the human counterpart is particularly skilled at creating beautiful and intricate jewelry that will often have an etheric quality to them, much like glimmering strands of a spider’s web.
Whatever channel this creativity flows through, it is a quality and gift that must be expressed and allowed the freedom to flow. If creativity is not acknowledged in the Spider individual, then a very necessary and integral part of their Life’s Purpose is being denied.
Such creativity is divinely inspired and a Gift that is given by the Great Mystery. The paradox in this for the Spider individual may be that they will deny an awareness of their own creativity for many years in deference to other areas of their lives which seem to call for attention. Often, the area that distracts the Spider soul most often is that of relationships as much like Grandmother Spider was forever aware of her Children, so the two-legged with this creature being as a Totem will tend to focus much of their attention on loved ones rather than nurturing and fulfilling their own needs. Yet if the Spider Soul does not give license to this creative spark, it will feel as though their life’s blood is slowly ebbing away or they are being "drained" of energy.
I just think this is totally fitting, considering I followed the advice of my mentor yesterday and today and just dove in - I have now written about Ella's birth and come out the other side. Am mightily exhausted and red-cheeked at having been transported back to that time and had to fully relive it and pretty much experience it (by putting myself back there, it just happened naturally) so that I could write with honesty and clarity.
Hmmmmm. I think my little (uh... make that biiiig) spider buddy is giving me some centredness and focus. Don't be cracking no whip and making trouble now, fella, y'hear? *wan hollow unconvincing laugh*
