Thursday, February 28, 2008

Deirdre Chambers.... what a coincidence

Today I went to collect the LGBB from occasional care (where the "KIDS!" are, she looooves the kids... and the singing, so she tells me). Two carers told me separately that Lolly had made a new friend. Rather, she had made Lolly her friend.

When I asked a bit more of Judy, she explained that this little girl (let's call her Molly) went up to the LGBB and was stroking her face and gently rubbing her back. Really intently staring at her and all. I asked if Lolly seemed okay with that and Judy, aware that Lol isn't really a kid who enjoys having anyone so close and "all up in her personal space", said "No, she did really well, she sat there smiling at her and let her treat her like a bit of a dolly." That's nice, I thought.

Apparently, Molly is a known eye gouger. She doesn't do it with any malice but she does hate kids and others touching her. For all intents and purposes, it sounds like she gets one in before anyone else gets a chance first. So the story goes, she endured heart surgeries as a baby and it is believed this is a by-product of being so poked and prodded. Fair enough.

I was already pretty gobsmacked by this point. Both that she was so gentle with Lolly (and apparently they've not seen her behave as caringly like this with any of the other kids) and also that she had heart surgery. Then Judy dropped the clanger.

"She looks so much like Lolly!" she said. "They could pass for sisters, you should see her." I wished I could have, but Molly had already gone home.

And I don't know, it just sent little positive shivers up my back. Not that this was any "sign" or anything from Ella as such (apart from the obvious parallels, like the similarity in age and features.... and heart defect... ok, so there were a few things), but more that they both just sort of apparently connected with each other and were 'allowing' the other to be in their personal space. I don't know Molly and whether this is usual for her - it sounds as if it's not, not yet - but I do know my girl and she ain't too keen with people getting all on top of her like that. Not at all.

I think they gave each other something positive. As if it was a way of them sort of both saying, unspoken, that not everybody (or every baby or child) is out to hurt and not everybody is necessarily going to push you around. Topping it all off, of course, is that this little girl has a congenital heart defect in common with our family, though most likely not the same one (that's not what I'm saying). And this is something I did used to wonder and still do sometimes, imagining what life would be like with our busy 4 year old here, watching her nearing the time when it was apparent she needed to get her artery replaced again because she'd outgrown it, how all of that would have affected the LGBB and how different she would be as a person now, with her sister's influence here in the flesh - had Ella lived and had to keep going back for more surgeries as she grew older (for they would be required life-long, we were warned). All this is not even to mention the alleged family likeness of this little Molly. That was just the icing on the freaky cake.

It's all very oooh! Wow-ish, to me. I feel blessed for the little reminder, almost like a pick-me-up.

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