Wednesday, December 16, 2009

I keep forgetting

Look, this is a somewhat uncharacteristic, breast-beating ME post. So look away now if you may become repulsed. We can't have that, lurkers!

I keep forgetting to remember that most of my blog readers aren't on Facebook. Rather, aren't my "friends" on FB. I don't want to go mixing it up like that. Too easy to find me/stalk me and all that... never the Twain shall meet, etc. etc. I keep the FB crowd small. Ridiculously, I-really-have-no-business-being-on-FB small. And that's just how I need to keep it.

So anyway. I'll fill you in.

Very suddenly, it's all come about that I needed to put "something" together so that the one or two people who were asking could hand their clients my information, in order that they might confer with me (over matters pertaining to infertility, miscarriage and similar heart rending stuff that I'm rather familiar with). I said yeah, I'll get right onto that a couple of times throughout 2009 but never did, until suddenly, the other night, I just sort of.... went ahead and actually did it! I willingly created something, it just came spilling out - the wording took a little more thought and actually mostly got 'downloaded' into my head while I was hanging out washing on Monday afternoon in the backyard - and when I mentioned it over the past couple of days, I have had another several people, health professionals/health care providers of different modalities, saying they would like a "stack" of my cards when I have them printed so that they may refer people to me as well.

To say I'm sort of gulping on the speed of all this (like I've been dunked under the water before taking a deep enough breath) is putting it mildly.

Mind you, it's not like I haven't had lots of time to ease myself into this. It's not that I haven't tried the coat on, even, over the past one or two years and even sounded it out loud (home alone here) "I'm an energetic consultant" and seen if it fits. I'm not even sure what I am. I'm not comfortable with that, or any, label. I just wanna say, I listen.

Steve and I have (me more seriously than him) considered that I might simply put that on my business card: I'm The Listen Lady, just like Marge Simpson when she starts a listening/help line and answers it "The Listen Lady" (Mo calls and says, "Yeah, listen lady, I got this problem...")..... Er. I guess you'd have to know The Simpsons really well to even raise a smirk at that one.


I shouldn't be so flippant. I'm not anymore. I've worked out where I sit in my morality and comfort level with how to charge for my time - this was a real big issue for me and also held me back, ie. I never want to be asking the sorts of fees other consultants/counsellors, etc., charge but on the other hand... I can't very well do it for free either because it takes a lot of preparation before the consultation even begins, so roughly double or more the time I spend seeing someone will be spent getting "in the zone" and tuning in to them. I can't really not charge for a bit of that time, otherwise I'd have to not do it at all (because I do still need to contribute to the household income or we'd be screwed).

Anyway, because I can't define what I do (or I'm not comfortable doing it), it hasn't manifested. That was, until Monday night when I put the artwork together. I wrote my name. Yep, cool with that. My mobile and email address. Easy. Hmmmmmm... but now for the tricky part to see in stark black and white: what it is I'm actually willing to offer. Well, I've always been willing to offer help, but I'm making it official now that I "do this". Of course I do this. It's what I've been studying for the past 3-4 years for heaven's sakes. Where did I think it was all leading!? Certainly not just for me to personally gain from my discoveries. I know the work, I know how amazing and graceful and non-denominational it is. I have to stop fearing that I won't know it when I'm in front of someone. That's just silly talking! I get told all the time (by strangers and loved ones/friends alike, but mostly strangers these days cos those who know me have already said it) that I'd be "so good at doing this for a 'living'..." or that I'm "really good at this stuff" (detaching and feeding back constructive, useful, contemplative suggestions etc.) and I've always waved the suggestion away, even while I've been knowing deep down that I know I have to start working in this capacity soon. In fact, some have begun mentioning to me that I have this (I suppose you could call it) quality - that I have started to exude some sort of calming effect over them when they're talking to me on the phone! Uh... ah ha! That'd be my tricky, trippy cosmic anaesthetic vibes working! No. Not really. I can't explain that one, except to say that I'm chuffed they feel so calm and uplifted (sometimes) when talking to me. So I can obviously put my "work" hat on and not even really notice. Now's the time to make it official, though - do it in a fully consciously aware state - where I can be more fully in control of the energy that I'm giving out. Always work to do!

So. I'm ready to say it. It's not my job, my business venture (god no!), my career or my "little hobby."

This is my passion, my calling, my work, my duty. My responsibility this lifetime. Ok. I'm an energenetic healer. (Want to know more? Email me)

Eeeeek. Pass me a bucket for my nerves, won't you?

(You'll have to click on the images to actually read them..... and do forgive the blurring out of the obvious contact information)

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