You know you've had a lot of miscarriages when...

...your Obstetrician calls just to shoot the breeze and "see how you're doing". And apologises for not replying to your SMS sooner.

See? I've done it so often, I'm on a personal text message basis with my practitioner (who was so pleased for us and offered his excited congratulations this last time). He is an utter gem in my life. And he loves seeing "his" families grow. It's a humbling privilege of mine to watch, from the sidelines, this quiet-spoken soul for the past 6, almost 7, years as he attends to his calling.

Having found him in 2003, already three years in to our journey - and knowing the difference it has made, having a permanent, familiar backstop there who I can get answers from in quick-fire succession, as well as sympathy* - I'm never going to let him retire. Not until I reach menopause and the opportunity to conceive just isn't biologically there anymore. He knows that. I'm holding him to a promise....


* Did I ever tell you, he and his practice midwife took me out for lunch 3 days after Ella died? Just cos they care??? Now, that was a lunch - food and conversation - I didn't digest, it was all so surreal.