The Trying Day

Today marks the end of an era for me. The era that was No Teeth Work.

I've been told by dentists that my teeth are in great nick, always have. But when I went to the dentist about two months ago, I had prepared myself. Even told Steve, "He's going to tell me I have to have this tooth out and I'm ready for it. I know it's gotta go."

I went, he saw, he xrayed. And I was sent home with a *shrug* "Your teeth look fine, they're very healthy, in fact."
"What, you're not even recommending a tooth clean?"
"Nope, they're great."

No. Noooo! That's not what I wanted to hear! (Uh, not that I wanted to necessarily hear it had to be taken out either) At the time, the tooth - a molar on the bottom jaw - was so doggone sensitive that I was nursing it every time I sipped a drink, brushed my teeth, heck even when I breathed in through my mouth. I couldn't agree with him that there was "nothing wrong" with it. He had suggested that the pressure I was putting my teeth under (by way of clenching my jaw, grinding my teeth at night, presumably) was the culprit and had momentarily jarred the nerve. He sent me away with a promise to keep my eye on it and consider a night splint made to measure to protect my prized pegs.

I went home. I went home and doubted my intuition all over again.

Then, a few days later, all hell broke loose and my face felt like it was being ripped off my skull. I kept thinking in the back of my mind that neuralgia and tooth were linked. But investigation at the hospital (of my teeth) while I was in there turned up shrug-worthy too.

So, since then I have not been able to use that side of my mouth. It's become rather turturous (relatively speaking only, of course) not to chew using any of the teeth on the right side. Then things began to shift. About two weeks ago, the tooth became loose. It raised in the gum and I began getting ear aches and sharp nerve pain through my face again.

Oh no, I know this, I was thinking. I kept it at bay with my current regime of acupuncture and homoeopathics.

But nothing short of taking the tooth out, as it turns out, was going to fix things. To my surprise, I was surprised and .... not so surprised ... today when the dentist advised me that sometime in these past couple of months, my tooth has split right through the middle. There is no saving it. It's shot to buggery and my face has now swollen out like I have a golf ball under my skin. I can feel the heat of this raging infection (yes, Mum, I'm on antibiotics) and really actually am looking forward to the end that's now in sight.

It's been months that I've been going around with this issue. And it's one that can't be moved away from, because it's constantly there. I've exhausted my supply of Panadeine Forte now, having needed it in the worst of the recent episode last week - it made for some trippy middle of the night "downloads" of entire chapters of the book that I received from somewhere/someone Upstairs and which I have now gotten down on virtual paper. They fit well. They tie in with what is happening for me now: which is, moving forward, out with the old ways, in with the new - my task, if I choose to accept it, is to remind myself once again to see the joy in things and the beauty in All things.

Something I'd forgotten I'd remembered to do, after we lost Ella. See? I can always make it about her. The most significant teacher of my life? You betcha.