I cannot chew, I can hardly talk (well, not for long) and am finding sleep and even holding my face very difficult. Who knew gravity was SUCH a bitch? It seems any change in position, once I am given a few moments' relief, results in a bout of shooting pain. But all of it only on the right side of my face and head.
Hey, you know you're in trouble if you can't even enjoy a coffee. Steve humoured me and walked me up to the café after visiting the doctor with me and my God. The pain was so severe that I got restless legs. I literally wanted to jump out of my body. It's the kind of pain that makes you look in the mirror and go, "Far OUT, it looks like nothing is happening in there!" And I took three sips and decided it wasn't worth the intsense pain that came with putting my lips around the vent on the lid. I've eaten just miso soup and a tub of pureé fruit since Saturday night because I just can't put a spoon in there. Teeth brushing? Don't even ask.
In giving you all that rundown, I want to say this. I am not focusing on the physical/fear aspects of this. As much as I can, I am going to be re-evaluating a lot of things. A big part of this is now standing in my true sense of self. Time to get seri-arse. Sorry. Serious.
I took myself outside in the (brief) sunshine this morning. I closed my eyes and attempted to gain some healing from the sun and whomever of My Posse was around to give me guidance. As soon as I closed my eyes, the familiar colours began. I was swathed in Turquoise. A really beautiful shade of Turquoise. I just let the colour wash behind my eyes, it was really intense. So was the pain! I had to go inside abruptly, before I could get too far into my meditation, because the cold was triggering more pain.
A few hours later, my dear friend Neri phoned me - I have had a lot of support from Jen and her since my ordeal began on Saturday night and have been offered wonderful insights and wisdoms to give me a greater understanding of why I'm going through this (remember: it's not just about you when something huge happens, there's always a deeper reason behind whatever pain you're going through! And once again, I could not see past it because it had already filtered in to my physical body and clouded my thoughts and concentration).
Anyway, Neri gave me a mandala to use today. It was a Turquoise one. Ho ho, fancy that! And the animal to go with that mandala is the Baboon, which I will also include here today. She explained to me that Baboon was about taking time out "in the trees" and just chilling. When I got to the doctor's later this morning, he said exactly the same thing. Just not in an etheric, "look to the Baboon" sense. Naturally.
"Rest, rest, rest," he said firmly.
A word I have hitherto detested but really need to begin to respect more. This is what I am sitting with today. Forgive me, I don't have the energy to put the image up. But I promise I will come back and put it in once I get a chance. For now, the text can suffice:
30. The FLEET of the FOLLOWING
the colour of...RICH TURQUOISE
the sound chord of …G 6
the essence of...MALACHITE...the stone for burnt-out healers as it opens your heart chakra, awakens your altruistic nature, and inspires healers to give more freely of themselves. MALACHITE aligns the etheric and emotional bodies and balances the 3rd chakra. MALACHITE treats mental illness, averts dizziness, vertigo and fainting, relieves cramps and rheumatism, and promotes sleep. MALACHITE aids co-ordination disorders (like epilepsy, autism, dyslexia and neurological discharges) caused by left-right brain imbalances, and visual disorders where it treats cataracts and generally strengthens the eyes. It aids self-expression, increases fertility and lactation, aids childhood dentation and treats childhood ills. For cardiac pain, MALACHITE stimulates the circulatory system, increases capillary action and invigorates red corpuscles. As a salve with honey, MALACHITE can staunch bleeding. It aids the kidneys and assists in cases of over-intoxification of the system and radiation-induced illnesses (such as cancerous tumours and leukaemia) and strengthens those working with video terminals and computers. MALACHITE promotes tissue regeneration, strengthens the pineal and pituitary glands, and removes toxicity in the fatty tissue. It aids the pancreas, spleen and stomach, prevents hernias and may be used for colic, intestinal infection, and gastric complaints involving nervous tension such as gastric ulcers.
This Mandala can give you a vantage point that is higher than your current one. From it you will be able to see into dangerous situations and access the reason and purpose of the learning these experiences have for you. This Mandala will address the turbulence you have created and that has continued to follow you. Your onus, now, is that of surrounding and containing this turbulence.
When the Mandala appears aligned, it will help you view from above whatever situation you are to take charge of. It will give you a 'birds eye view' of
• the ship (i.e., the container of your responsibilities),
• the turbulent seas (i.e., the emotional depths of learning you are responsible to—not only your own emotional depths, but the depths of those in your care, as well),
• the horizon of safe ground, or of wider objectives than the voyage you are on now).
You will now be faced with the necessity to forge new ground with the aim of moving humanity to create harmony and unity. There will be rough seas, so you will have to be sturdy and strong as well as flexible and flowing with your energy.
Growing from this experience does not necessitate fleeing from it. Rather it involves your melding the flight of your intuition with the stealthy integrity of your mature consciousness. This fold of experience will become a catapult to benefit the future. It will forge your ability to be intuitively responsible and it will be with this indelible responsibility as your solid foundation that you will build the future structure of new lands.
You are being helped towards this learning so that you will be able to keep a steady rhythm during your voyage. Certainly the predatory waters will warn you of risk, but if you travel beyond diving into worry about risks and, instead, gain insight about any possible surrounding danger from the vantage point of your Higher Sight, you will be far safer and much better prepared to encounter any challenging reefs.
Sailing this vessel will involve being vigilant for those who sail with you because you do have the gift of harmonising any ill-mindedness belonging to those in your care! This gift of yours carries with it the ability to adjust your etheric patterns to provide others with peace of mind. When you feel overawed by the crowding of your personal space, you will be given the Chalice of Dedication to drink from and its draught of Fresh Waters will balance your purpose with peace for your mind. You will be allowed personal time and space away from pressure and push to ponder new perimeters and to open them.
Baboon
Baboons are found in most parts of Africa and are classified as Old World monkeys. They have forsaken life spent entirely in the trees for life spent mostly on the ground. Their heavy body and short fingers make Baboons better suited to foraging in grasslands than to swinging in trees as other primates do. However, Baboons do spend their nights in the trees and will also retreat to the safety and vantage point of the tree canopy when under threat. They are agile, resourceful and highly sociable—masters of survival—and can out-manoeuvre even the biggest cats, i.e., lions and leopards, which are their chief predators.
Baboon wisdom tells you to reach for a higher viewpoint when you deal with predator interference. If you do not seek the higher perspective of higher guidance, staying only grounded could endanger you at this time. Take to the trees with the Baboons for a time of meditation and wait for the turbulence, or dangerous situation, to pass. This will give you the space and time to find a wider perspective and access greater insight and will show you why and what you are to learn from your experience. Encountering Baboon energy indicates that now is not the time to get involved in external situations nor become overly reactive to them. Rather, it is a time to see your objectives within a wider perspective and discern how best to move on into greater responsibility more maturely. Head home to your sacred space within, then, and find calm and stillness there so that you can meld your experience and intuition and so encourage change and growth for your own spiritual future as well as the spirit family around you.
Baboons troops are close-knit and can number anything from 7 to 200. The dominant male is responsible for the troop’s safety and leads the way, keeping the females and young secure to the centre of the group. The other males act as sentries, barking warnings to each other and fighting with foreign rogue males should they try to join the troop. Baboons fiercely stand their ground against intruders whom they will force into flight, or retreat. When Baboon appears, know that you are on notice to be protective, supportive, energetically aware and responsible towards yourself, your family (physical and spiritual) and your community and steer away from threatening interferences and any incorrect experiences that may present themselves to you. Baboon medicine is about not avoiding your life experiences but rather about knowing how to deal correctly with their risks and finding the best way to respond to any threats. It is about connecting with Source (reaching “high into the trees”) to gain a higher perspective so you can find a better and safer way.
Baboons behave as if they spend much care and attention on each other. These very sociable creatures appear to enjoy each other’s company and spend a lot of time mutually grooming to remove ticks, fleas and debris from each other’s fur—a practice that cements the firm bonding of the troop. Baboon wisdom suggests to humans their need to show greater care towards each other and to be involved in removing unwanted energies attracted in daily routines. This wisdom is also about helping the younger members of one’s family to find the discipline required to grow and about learning, through all experiences, to lead by example. Baboon families are not prone to fighting, nor even squabbling, and tend to seek a peaceful and harmonious existence. They communicate constantly with many grunts and a variety of facial expressions demonstrating the disciplined maturity of their social behaviour within the troop. When Baboon appears in your life it could indicate a time for you to review how well you communicate with those around you. How harmoniously are you travelling and are you behaving in a mature and disciplined way?
Baboons are always on the move to find new feeding grounds where they graze on plants, many of which can be toxic to other animals. Baboons have the ability to find nourishment in a greater variety of plants than do others who find comparative difficultly in digesting. Baboon wisdom teaches how to use greater discernment in digesting thoughts. Baboons have been under threat from human agricultural methods which have sought to eradicate them as a pest to crops, but the Baboons’ vigilance has paid off. They have survived despite all extermination efforts and their populations continue to flourish. Baboon medicine is that of being prepared to meet the challenges in life by always seeking a higher perspective from which to gain expanded vision and so find another way. Baboon energy shows you how to allow each experience to deliver you new wisdom, to take ‘time out’ to find a quite space so you can become the catalyst that opens up frontiers and new ways for your future.
Experience Risks Challenges Higher Perspectives Higher Point of View Community Time Out
30 Mandala, The Fleet of the Following, Rich Turquoise, Malachite, Baboon, Sound Chord G6
