Wednesday, July 8, 2009

And the times, they are a-changing

I've said it before, I'm sure, but geez my other blog used to be funnier. I'm SURE of it!

When I was searching it for some other stuff the other day, I had tears trickling down my cheeks while I laughed silently (the rest of the house wasn't up... and what does that literally mean? My kitchen rises at 9am? We have to tiptoe til the loungeroom gets up because it's on night shift?? What the? It's a strange way to say "the other people I live with weren't awake yet" really, isn't it?).

Namely, these two entries tickled my funnybone:

From this time we took the LGBB on her first family holiday, aged 9 months
• There was this man we saw sporadically while we were there and DAMN I didn't get to take a photo because I wasn't fast enough. He was impossibly tanned, a retiree we guessed, on a motorised cart. But not any old cart. Oh no, this was like a Rolls Royce of motorised carts. I swear, I reckon it had a better engine under the hood than the Tardis. And he had one of those plastic expressions, it didn't change. I decided his name was Bernie. And he had probably died about a week ago but his friends had tied him to his sweet ride and put it in gear and let him go off, in order to stay at his beach house. But the funniest part was, aside from the tinted glasses, the George Hamilton tan, the old-man bling (you know, watch, strange gold chain around neck, etc etc), he had this slicked-back white hairdo that, I swear, looked like he was clocking about 180kmh. His hair belied the fact that he was actually gadding about doing roughly 2kmh.

And then the time when I set the kitchen on fire and I just curled up in fits remembering Steve's pearler when he came back out (after my having danced around the kitchen screaming "SHIT! SHIT! SHIT!" and not much else:

Steve came back out, by the way, and giggled - yes, giggled - that he expected to come out and literally find a pile of shit. Such were my incessant and apparently convincing exclamations of said matter.

I love reading bits of my old blog. Just about every entry I ever come across has something funny in it. Yes, even AFTER/during the newborn phase! My, how times have changed....

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