Thursday, April 23, 2009

The meanest Coach

I think Steve has been coaching the LGBB. Three of these (above) are my Barbies. Their matted, old hair proves they have been played with often. And come from the 80's. The pretty princess in her fancy shmancy ballerina get-up is Lolly's latest addition to the group, a present to her from her Grandparents for Christmas. I find her inferior, with her immovable arms, elbows and feet. But that's just me.

The LGBB loves them. She talks to them like they're respectable, decent, upstanding members of the household ... despite them, in this photo, wearing the sum total of all the clothes I have for them.

One day, recently, the LGBB was "loving" one of my Barbies so hard that she ripped the head clean off the neck. I don't mean popped it off so you could see that little bubble of plastic underneath and just stick it back on. I mean, full on tore the plastic. I was horrified! I let out a wail like I was still twelve years old. It cut almost as deeply as if one of my brothers had done the act maliciously. To top it off, Steve couldn't stop rolling about laughing (not sure if that was at my dismay or at my attempts to fix her).

And now, my most prized, my most lovely Barbie (whom I named Michelle, for I always thought that was such a soft, pretty, enviable name) has no neck. She's like a trucker. She may as well wear Stubbies and a pair of Blundies on her feet and let her gut out - Lord knows she's wanted to all these years. See her there on the right? See anything, oh I don't know... neckless about her?

The LGBB and I were playing with the Barbies yesterday. See them here in their "hot tub", or so Steve and I like to snicker and call it. During our little tea party in the hot tub, I asked the LGBB what their names were. I was thinking how adorable (if not a tad strange) their names were, when all of a sudden, I had cause to believe that Steve has been coaching my daughter to get rid of the broken one. My Michelle. Despite his protests and assurances that he has not, I want your opinion. Take a look at these names:

(From left to right) In the picture, according to the LGBB, we have:

Winkle (??? WTF?)
Barbie, and....

Wait for it.....


So. Toodabin? Or........ to the bin?

Hmmmmmmmmmm. I'm suspicious, let me tell you. Nasty piece of work, that Steve.

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