Cake request

I have received a request from Steve this morning for his next birthday cake.

It's not an unknown fact that in this house, many a day has been squandered when I've been in the throes of  playing Angry Birds. I finally reached the end of the levels, found all the golden eggs and unlocked everything..... I'm not actively seeking any more versions of the game because I simply cannot afford the time right now. Once I start, I can't stop. Those smirking little green piggy bastards are my downfall and I must destroy them all using the yellow triangle birds, they're the most destructive... Oh. Sorry. Are you still reading?

Aherm.

Henyway, suffice to say, I'd adore a cake like this myself. But I'm not anywhere near this level of cake artistry. This is madness, sheer brilliance:


Courtesy of Mashable

Thank Maxabella

I'm going to turn off my word verification.... er, thingy. You can thank Maxabella and her commenters on this post for that.

I have to admit, I don't mind typing in my best guess in that little box on others' blogs. But it does take an extra ounce of time and, although I get comments (thank you!), I know it probably peeves some of you.

So let's give it a shot, eh? Now, I'm not making any long term promises. If I get slammed like I used to with spam, it goes back on. Oooh. Sorry. I got all sort of Mum-tone on you there. Pointed finger and raised eyebrow have been stood down. I'll save it for the spammers if they come back.

Deal?

Do you Xanadu for fun or torture?

Olivia - aka Kira - can't believe the state of our living room

Snacks, mixing blue and yellow to make green, painting an egg carton to make a crocodile and Xanadu on the telly. The girl is in dark and rainy stay-home day bliss.

Xanadu has been an enduring favourite of the LGBB's. She loves her a bit of swooning to Gene and Olivia dancing a 1940's-inspired two-step.

But I have to ask you.... would you watch Xanadu with pleasure? I have to admit a guilty secret:  I just love the music in this. Especially 'Magic'. Nothing shameful in a bit of ELO. Twist my arm and I'll also confess to really liking 'Suddenly', but don't tell anyone. And okay, while we're at it, I'll admit to something else:  I used to want to be Kira. Scrap that, I used to think I was Kira. Nowadays, the acting makes me want to gag and laugh simultaneously. But for kids? Heaven. The LGBB can't get enough of it. So much so that, regular readers may remember, it's all she asked Santa for in 2009. What 3 year-old do you know has fallen so in love with an '80s music video on You Tube so much that they must have the whole singing, dancing extravaganza for their very own? And wants it above any other toy they can think of?

Here she is in her no-singing, lots-of-spinning, mostly-waiting cinematic debut, age 3 1/2 (to her credit, Lolly is waiting for her cue as one of the muses who unfreezes and comes to life in the wall mural..... again and again. She just had a lot of waiting to do, given that apparently she was the only one cast in ALL the roles of the sisters). Watch the unmoving facial expression of the one bemused audience member who's seen it all before. Over. And over. And over. During rehearsals:


I'm Alive! from Lolly Lovers on Vimeo.

Good music

This weekend, I want to acknowledge one of my true, enduring loves.

Music

I was brought up surrounded by it and have a natural appreciation for all sorts of genres. There are so many ways that music has enriched and healed and complemented my life - as with most people on this planet - that it's difficult to name all of them. But I thought I"d compile a list. So, dear reader, I give you...

Things you didn't know you were interested to learn about music and me:

•  Any rock music with piano in it has me riveted. Think Billy Joel (songs like Stiletto and Scenes From An Italian Restaurant fill me with sheer joy and I get lost in the solos) and Ben Folds Five.

•  One of my lasting memories of my father is his cheery morning disposition, coupled with ABC Classic radio playing in the background and my teenage self would find his loud "la-la-la's" as he sang along to everything both embarrassing and funny.

•  Mum and Dad met at a church choir. They were both excellent singers.

Image credit

•  I learned piano and recorder as a child. Recorder was my true love. I went from the smaller descant, which gets SUCH a bad rap because of the loud, nails-down-blackboard screeching sounds younger children make with them, but is actually a gorgeous instrument to play (when you're playing good music!). Then I progressed to the treble, a larger beautifully rich toned instrument and then had the privilege of playing both the tenor and the bass recorder, the granddaddy of recorders, which were my teacher's. The bass recorder is the biggest in this image (the descant is the smallest) and you use a funny brass mouthpiece to play it. I remember how huge it looked to me, as a kid, because the thing was so big it towered over my head while it rested on the floor.

•  I remember vividly the day Mum took me to a recorder maker to choose and purchase my very own treble recorder. There were all sorts of colours, each one unique and no two recorders alike. Each one had a slightly different tone to them. The recorder maker was passionate about recorders and I remember really connecting with him over his love for the instrument. I tried several and settled on the one that would be my constant companion for many years, for  I practiced for hours a day.

•  I dabbled with the flute but only lasted a term. I couldn't master it and expected to be perfect but it's a difficult instrument to play and has quite a different way of using the mouthpiece compared to what I was used to with the recorders.

•  Steve thinks I am a freak because of how I can pick out a tune on the piano without even trying.

•  Sight reading music (playing music you've never seen before) was my hat trick in exams - I think I have inherited this from my grandfather, who was a brilliant musician and had a photographic memory.

•  Music is in my blood. My cousins include an opera singer and a concert pianist turned conductor for the Philharmonic orchestra (oops... I can't remember which ones he's been in but I think the New York Philharmonic is one of them...). And my grandfather (Mum's dad) was a masterful and passionate piano and clarinet player - self taught, as I understand. Unfortunately, I never met him.

•  I was doing music exams at age 9. I got A's and a B. I did three exams in total over the course of three years and graduated to a point where my teacher advised my parents I ought to be studying at the Victorian Conservatorium of Music. Unfortunately, the timing coincided with my parents separating and then divorcing. And anyway, the college was in the city - far too far for a then 12 year-old to travel alone and impossible for my parents to do. I've always wondered how far I could have gone.

•  When I go to see a live orchestra, I cry with pure emotion at the beauty of the sound and cannot stop the bliss from bubbling over within me. Nothing else does it to me quite like a full orchestra.

•  It's not all classical. I love music as diverse as Stevie Wonder, Barbara Streisand, The Dooby Brothers, Steely Dan, The Carpenters and James Taylor... (I could go on) and all those 70's sounds, through the disco era, to the more rhythmic and largely computer-made sounds of Air and Phoenix (a French electronic outfit).  We love and play music from British rock bands like Deep Purple, Led Zepplin and Def Leppard. I think Django Reinhart was simply awesome and so talented.  And I thank my father for introducing me to, as well as countless classical composers, the true Ladies of Blues music such as Ella Fitzgerald, Billie Holliday, Lina Horne and so many others. It has been the foundation for me discovering some gorgeous modern day artists who have sublime voices - Stacey Kent, Madeleine Peyroux and Kylie Auldist to name a few of my favourites.



•  On a lazy weekend afternoon, you can find me cranking up the stereo to one of my favourite CD's, Ladies Sing The Blues.

•  I love to listen to jazz music when I cook.

•  I may well get Lolly beaten up at school. For a time there, recently, her favourite video clip was this. We have very retro tastes in this house and she is never allowed to watch those video hits shows.

•  We owned all sorts of strange records. One of my favourites was The Wombles. "Come Womble with your partners, young wombles were told, if you minueto allegretto you will live to be old." I'd love to get a copy of that now.

And just finally, I would like to acknowledge the exceptional Etta James who is gravely ill and suffering not only Alzheimer's (which was diagnosed in 2009) but now dementia and leukemia. This woman's voice is remarkable and one of my favourites. Not only that, I love her because she came right out and said she couldn't stand Beyoncé. That's just classic. Awesome. She is 72. She can do as she pleases.

Here she is doing her stuff in her inimitable way:







This post is part of Maxabella's weekend grateful. What are you grateful for today?


I'm also Rewinding at the Pink Fibro today.

I've got a secret

It's a weight loss secret. It's called excessive fluid retention.

You may well think that fluid retention couldn't possibly be a weight loss tool. Ah, but dear reader, I give you this little fact:  I can lose up to 3kg on any given day. Usually it's around 1-2kg, but the most I've seen is 3kg. That's a lot.

Okay and now it's time to confess that I also put on that amount (.5-3kg) that same day, or maybe the next. It's crazy. And that my cankles - mmmm, always a pleasure - and achey finger and hip joints are testament to the fluid I carry. So, it's not a really enviable way of experiencing "weight loss", I'll give you that.

No matter what time of month/year/moon phase, this fluid goes on and comes off as it pleases. And it's made rather more uncomfortable when I'm tipping the scales permanently now at the largest I've ever been in my life (sans pregnancy). It's also not really pleasant to find that what you wore yesterday is too tight today. And then fits you again tomorrow.... it's quite bizarre. Lately, movement has been an issue and my body has been feeling twice the age I really am.

So after a few years now of fooling myself that "Ooooh, look! I've lost 2kg!" while leaving out the all-important re-weigh either that night or the following morning which sees me put 2kg or more back on, I got myself to a GP a couple of weeks ago and asked for a blood work-up at the request of my naturopath (who just happens to be my sister inlaw, the lovely Nicole from Nurtured By Nature. The GP found my results "unremarkable". And that they were, largely.

Cholesterol normal

Celiac screen fine

Thyroid working like a beaut

B vitamin levels (surprisingly) good

In fact, everything was within normal range. EVEN (and this is big) my liver function! Whoa, Nelly, you mean I can drink more?? Woot-woot ;)

Except, there were two little things that, while the GP considered them unimportant in the scheme of my seeking to do something about this, were very interesting from a naturopathic point of view.

My iron stores were at anaemic levels - hello, couch at 3pm every day since Christmas (and here I was thinking my lethargy was post-inlaw-visit and ensuing festivity related, ho ho ho) - and my vitamin D was very low.

Not necessarily uncommon. But in terms of trying to shed kilo's and get rid of this awful fluid retention, extremely bastardy actually.

Typical lunch - tuna salad.

I do have bad eating habits. But none of them are dietary. In fact, if one more person suggests I "just lay off the crisps and ice cream if you want to get smaller", I'll biff them. The naturopath went through my food intake and summised that I was doing all the right things. The blood test confirmed everything I am consuming is converting as it should in my body. You know the main thing that got me off track?

Not eating

Yep. It was this one (wildly important) point that has finally triggered my body into this over-zealous storage mode and made my nutrient stores go all haywire as well. Extended months of not feeling like eating, being too busy to eat, not feeling like anything that's in the fridge, or simply being lazy about preparing something for myself have turned into a vicious circle somewhere along the line - I won't eat at all if I'm not going to eat healthy at home, and sometimes the effort of chopping up a salad or making a soup was too much for me to even contemplate because I was so tired. And I was tired because I wasn't eating. And I wasn't eating because I was too tired to make anything. Round your partners, dosey-doe.

While it's no surprise that not eating every day is a large factor - pretty much everyone knows by now that you are far better off eating small meals more often, where here I was skipping breakfast, having lunch at 4pm and forcing in dinner with the family at 6.30 - the no eating no-no was only part of my bad habit. The other thing I tend to do is eat my biggest meal at night. It's just the way I was raised, it's now out of convenience more than anything that I take my time and cook a meal for us all at night when really, the types of things we have at night are better digested at the midday meal.

I'm pleased to say I have been on not only iron and vitamin D supplements for a week now and feel mucho energised at that crucial mid-afternoon point, I have also been on a complete, properly prescribed liver cleansing detox since Saturday. So far, I've lost (and kept off for a week!!) 4kg.

I notice when I climb the steps to the deck in the backyard, it's no longer a strain. My body isn't screaming and I don't feel like I'm hoiking my body up, it's easy. My wedding band comes on and off again, something I've not been able to do for about six months. I am also relieved to report that everything feels looser, I look smaller already and walking the dog has become much less an exercise in sounding like I'm playing the bagpipes and more like a typical workout without having to lug around water balloons under my skin.

It's strange, you know, fluid retention weight. It's weight, sure, but it's not real weight if you know what I mean. It's not the same as needing to lose fat (although I have plenty of that to work on when I get bored of blogging...). I'm looking at myself these past couple of days and saying, Right, at least I can actually see my problem areas and there aren't nearly as many of them as all that nasty surface stuff would have had me believe last week. Honestly, I was a little like .. well, a beach ball really. And now, just a few days later, I look like someone I recognise again. Phew! It has been quite a bizarre, but uplifting and rewarding experience, this detox. And of course, the supplements are helping so my body isn't working hard anymore and energy is going where it should and, well,

It's all just sunshine and lollypops, really.

Mind you, I do still have about 10kg to go, so let's not get too peppy. But I am very pleased it's all going in the right direction - er, literally down the toilet... man, when a body is rebalanced it sure knows how to function like it should, doesn't it? Eh? Too much information? Anyway, I'm sure it's going to be a breeze now that we have found the culprits responsible for my lack of energy and inability to lose weight/uncanny ability to take on water like the Titanic.

Who knows, at the rate I'm going all this lack of dairy, coffee, tea, alcohol and wheat - which leaves fruit, vegies, fish, chicken and legumes (I don't eat red meat... whoops, hence the pasty anaemia finding) - will be well worth it.

My days of being tidal with the moon may just be over!

Do you gain and lose fluid quickly? I've heard that some people are more prone to it than others. And Steve just thinks I'm a freak.

A Mass Attack of excitement

It is with great pleasure and huge excitement that I announce.....

I have a sponsor for the Aussie Bloggers Conference next month!

I couldn't be happier to have Mass Attack on board to help me get there.

Mass Attack's founder is a sentimental favourite of mine. In fact, Naturopath Narelle Stegehuis was my very first client way back when I quit my job to have Ella in 2003. Needless to say, Narelle was instrumental in keeping me afloat (emotionally and in a foundling business venture sense) that first year - she cheered for us on the sidelines when I managed to keep that pregnancy and I was actually under her care in the early weeks, and then was devastated for us when our NICU journey came to its abrupt end in 2004. We remained in contact in a business sense until the birth of the LGBB in 2006.

In the intervening years, Narelle's business has expanded beyond my small at-home business capacity. But I am very excited to say that there will be regular articles here with interesting facts and tips from Narelle and her team of dedicated naturopaths. I'm so proud to share them with you, dear reader(s)!

Turfed

Today I'm going to share a section of chapter 8 from my book that is getting chopped.

For a while now, I have thought that it stems the flow of the narrative. Last night, when I received chapter 6-10 back from the editor, it seemed he agreed. So out it goes.

Rather than lose it forever, I thought I would put it here. For safe keeping :) It's not that these few paragraphs are irrelevant - they most certainly are - but it is a bit clumsy in the scheme of the story either side of it. It's completely unedited and very raw, so please look past the strange paragraph breaks and long-windedness (which I am sooooo good at!).

See what you think and, as always, please feel free to comment or share your own similar experiences (from either side of the fertility fence).

   “I miss my baby, she’s only eight months old and I’ve never been away from her for this long before,” cried one of the bridesmaids. We were at my aunt’s house getting dressed for her wedding. I was surprised when tears sprang in my eyes for this new mum who was crying because she missed her baby so much. I was really struck by the emotion in this woman whom I’d met on only a few other occasions. But I had never thought she would openly cry and now I saw a softening in her that wasn’t noticeable to me before she’d had her baby girl. It intrigued me further, this wondrous and as yet unattainable role of motherhood. That it could change a person so much beyond their control that it caused them to ruin their makeup when they were getting ready to be in a wedding. It was as if she could not help the tears. And it wasn’t that anything was wrong – her healthy baby was at home with her grandparents. It was just the simple fact that she missed her daughter so terribly much; I found it very touching. 

   Aunty Jo and her partner had a beautiful wedding. It was lovely to see them so emotional with each other and Steve and I were greatly honoured to play such an important part in their public commitment to one another. Towards the end of the night, I remember looking across the room and seeing the bridesmaid who had missed her baby so much. She was still there but was making moves to leave with her husband and I could tell from where I was standing that she really wanted to go home.

   All of a sudden, surprising me, I felt a sudden surge of jealousy and anger towards this girl. I don’t know where it came from and it was certainly not intentional, but the emotions of the day and the realisation that we had witnessed another couple coming together - no doubt also marking the beginning of the end of our friendship with them as we knew it - had taken its toll. 

   For this was how it was starting to take shape: our long-time friends and family were getting married and starting families. It was the natural progression of things, Steve and I were well aware of this. But because our family could not get started, we felt as though we were remaining the same “dual income, no kids”, perpetually socially available couple. Others around us were settling down, which was what we were so desperately yearning to do ourselves. 

   I sat at an empty seat at one of the beautifully decorated reception tables and mentally counted the number of years that Steve and I had been together. We had just celebrated our third wedding anniversary, having been a couple for over five years before that. I was suddenly gripped with fear that my previously single but newly wedded aunt and friend was probably going to beat me and have a baby first. 

   Was this what I had become? The stereotypical bitter, twisted childless woman? It was wearing me down, the weight of not being able to bear a baby I knew was surely out there for us because of some as yet still mysterious genetic factor in Steve’s chromosomal makeup. And I knew it was far more than feeling “beaten” to the post – it was the desperate fear of being left behind and not being able to completely share friendships with people once they had had babies. I felt lonely, like a perpetually little kid in an increasingly grown-up world.

   I suddenly wanted to go home. Why had my thoughts turned to babies? I had had such a great day with Aunty Jo and her family. I felt so guilty, standing there in my gorgeous dress with my perfect hair and makeup all intact, hiding my dark thoughts. After all, they were unfounded fears anyway. Jo hadn’t even mentioned wanting a family. It was a tiny glimmer of hope that perhaps, just perhaps, we could at least have our first baby at the same time as them, if not sooner. So I stood tall and shook off my sadness, this wasn’t the time or place to be thinking of myself.

   We waited to hug the newlyweds goodbye, bidding them farewell and safe travels on their honeymoon.

   Aunty Jo’s wedding triggered the onset of thoughts that had not previously surfaced but had obviously been there for a while, just simmering. It sparked a new awareness in me of noticing just how many couples had begun not only their relationships in the time since Steve and I had been together, but were now having babies as well. 

   It seemed nobody was safe from my critical observation. I envied celebrities in magazines right through to people in my office building. A young girl from one of the offices where I worked became pregnant to her boyfriend of five months and I felt like she was parading her blossoming belly and glowing pride and happiness in front of me whenever I saw her. Of course she wasn’t. But why did she have to rub her belly so often? It was like watching a walking glamour magazine ad. “How To Be Enviably Pregnant.” She was perfectly shaped, poised, absolutely stunning. And some days I wanted to gouge her eyes out.