I. MUST. Have. One.

*Fwit-oosh* Yeeee har, happy anniversary

Apparently, the modern gift for the 9th wedding anniversary is leather, the traditional gift being pottery.

Pfft. Pottery?! And leather? A leather what? Whip? I really try to avoid leather.

We've never done the tin, copper, flowers, wood... rock, paper, scissors, whatever... wedding gift thing with each other before. Tonight for some reason, I decided we would be doing it this year (for I was sure I was missing out on diamonds or something sometime soon).

Understandably, I was very perturbed to see we had missed out on the 6th year gift: candy. Even more mortified to see that 10 years was only tin (trad.) or aluminium (modern). What the hell??

As I said, this year we're in the running for:
9th WEDDING ANNIVERSARY
Traditional Anniversary Gift: Pottery
Modern Anniversary Gift: Leather

Whoop-de-doo.

So. Steve, the ideas man, asked me what the 3rd year present was. I looked it up and told him it was leather (trad.) or glass/crystal (modern). He then ruled that it was "settled then... six and three is nine, we'll give each other chocolates n' shit.... in something made of glass."

I heart him, the romantic bastard.

It burrrrns, mama, it burrrns

Just wondering how many of you get your eyelashes tinted. And if you do, do any of you do what I do and concentrate sooooooo hard on not opening your eyes (to avoid catastrophic pain that feels like it's burning your eyeballs out of their sockets) that you almost do?

I know it's supposed to be somewhat relaxing, like a mini beauty treatment, although I only go because if I don't my eyelashes are that lovely invisible blonde that makes it look like I have none at all. So I lie there and try and enjoy the few minutes' peace on my own. Instead, I struggle to keep my eyelids shut. They feel like they want to just fling open and my eyeballs move around and strain against my closed lids. It's awful!

Is it a condition? Maybe I have a condition. Close-eyetis. The inability to keep ones' eyes shut when the preservation of ones' eyesight depends solely on just that.

Does anyone else know what I'm talking about?

The test

I just woke from a dream where I was being surveyed. A list of questions designed to enable the survey-taker to determine what kind of person I am and what my needs are. It was for a gym I was joining (I am about to start at one of those women-only exercise studios, where you do a 30 minute combined cardio/weights circuit, three times a week and I am really looking forward to getting my fitness back into prime shape like it used to be two distant years ago).

The question that hinged on determining how they could best tailor a program to suit my needs and help them understand my inner workings?

Q: Who do you prefer more, Cameron Diaz or Drew Barrymore?

I suppose that would kind of answer the question of who you are and how best to sum you up. Imagine that question posed in an interview setting, for instance. It's sort of like asking "Who do you prefer, Ben Stiller or Owen Wilson?" See? Each of them similar in many respects but you'd be crazy if you put Owen as your answer wouldn't you, whether you were male or female, because you'd have your potential employer thinking you were either attracted to friends or partners like that. For what it's worth, I love Owen. And Ben. Come to think of it, I'd be hard pressed to decide. But I would probably choose.... oh, no, I think either answer I would regret. That's a nasty question. Who thought of that?

But between Cameron and Drew? Well, to me there is not nearly as much pause to choose. They'd both be fun, sure, and very easy to look at and funny too, I daresay. But I'm glad that even in my dreams, I am consistent with my morals and my decisions for I gave the answer I would give now, awake. Like, imagine if you chose the person who least appealed to you. Imagine if the choice was even harder. Imagine if you had to pick between, say, Tom Cruise and Jack Nicholson. Or Bette Midler and Goldie Hawn. Or other celebretiesw whose face values weren't as clearly defined or well known. You would spend the rest of the day wondering why you answered with that person. I don't even watch Steven Segal movies! you'd say. Why would I choose him?? What a world of torment.

I chose Drew, by the way.

Eat your heart out, Hallmark

There's a new feature in Mail 3.2 for Macs. Steve proudly showed me on the weekend. There is now a library of stationery you can apply to all your outgoing mail. Some of it's cute, some of it looks brilliant, other stuff is really pox.
So what do I get this morning? An email. From Steve. Entitled "I may be home a little late tonight". Thinking it would be a joke, I opened it. But he was serious. They are interviewing for a new position at the moment and it turns out, he's got an appointment coming after hours tonight.

That's all fine, I'm cool with that and I am glad this time he chose to actually inform me. And it's even better to be delivered this sort of information on thoughtful stationery. Even when it's not technically yours. Made all the more hilarious because of the stationery owner's current passion for cutlery. When you are made a "cuppa teeeeeee?" you are handed a plastic fork. And then a knife. Sometime a cup. But always a plate.


(For the record, this is the LGBB's best "Hmmmmm" face, which she casts usually in my direction when her look is saying "Stop trying so hard, I'll humour you until you give up on the whacky dancing routine, 'kay?" Having done it, complete with slightly raised eyebrow you might notice, since she was a baby, she has all but perfected it now)

Got something?

I've got nothing.

That's why I haven't written.

Am waist-deep in an exploded kitchen, its contents are... well, everywhere. So I am still cleaning, sorting and marvelling at use-by dates.

Shall return when I have something to say. As always, though, thanks for stopping by! I see more of you are using RSS or other feeds to alert you to new entries. Smart cookies. As in you readers, not your computers' ... cookies.

Ok, going.

Would you do that?