Monday, March 30, 2009

We're huntin' Jazzies

I wanted to keep the birds from our figs. No, that is not some kinky euphemism. I seriously did.

So I put a bird net over the tree. Afterwards, our neighbour told me how full of spiders they are. Okay, I gathered they might be at the time. But thanks for telling me AFTER I was in there.

Then, a few hours later, Jazz the drongo space cadet went barging out from under the bush and headed towards the centre of the backyard. Of course, she got trapped. We laughed ourselves silly at the sight. And then we went and rescued her. I helped Steve put the net back on this time. He went in and I stayed out. When he came out, he had a huntsman on him.

As calmly as I could, I told him, "Lenny, there's a spider on your left hip pocket." The thing was crawling by this stage, not helped by the fact that Steve was now spinning in circles, arms in the air and repeating, "Where? Where? WHERE???" and not listening to me, but also trying to thinly disguise his terror. He doesn't necessarily care for spiders, but he sure as hell doesn't want one ON him.

I shall pause here and say calmly to you, dear reader: DON'T click any of this post's links, by the way, if you don't want to see examples of these spiders up close n' personal *wink* I've just included them for our international readers who may not know these man-hand sized SCARY-ASS creatures of nature. There. I've composed myself now.

I repeated calmly (and loudly) "ON. YOUR. LEFT. LEG. EEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!" (that's when the thing dropped to the ground and ran.... oh, the huntsman, not Steve. He's more like a daddy long legs in my mind)

That was yesterday.

Tonight, we were having dinner outside. Crash. Smash. There she went again. This time, Jazz was pushing on the net for all she was worth - "I'm gonna make it outta here, I know I can do it" - and she was making little piggy ears out of those cute floppy Labrador ears of hers. It looked kinda sore.

"I HAVE to take a photo of this," I wheezed as Steve and I started running over to help her. I came inside for the SLR. I mean... come on. It's not every day your dog gets trapped in a bird net that looks like we've set the trap deliberately.

Well, okay. Maybe it's every other day. Apparently.

Ummmmm...... okay, this is a bit embarrassing.
Uh... little help please?

I'm a Labrador crossed with Kelpie crossed with a bit of Staffy.
And you want me to SIT STILL???

Oh for the love of..... I've gone blind!! But hey. I can still laugh in this thing.

Okay, this isn't funny anymore. Orright-orright-orright.
I'm sitting still. Sheesh.

I'm. Almost. Freeee. And, no? That's not a look of desperate concern in my eyes. It's... it's. I've got an eyelash in my eye, okay? An eyelash. It's making me stare.

Ah! All disentangled. Now. What else can I mangle for you?

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