Thursday, March 29, 2012

A realisation on Conference Eve: She's for keeps!

I'm up before the sparrows and it would feel like groundhog day, except.... there are boxes in my house and Steve's not going to work today and he'll be driving the LGBB to school and I have a bag packed and ready at the front door.

Today is no ordinary day at all! Today is Conference Eve! In my home city! And I am mightily excited about it. There are so many great posts out there in our Digital Parents community about it, I would really just be copying theirs if I did one. So, instead...

I am off for a long, vigorous run with Jazz in a moment. Just waiting for it to get a tad lighter - neither of us are really that keen on being in the dark, literally and figuratively speaking - and I will have a head full of To-Do's that I must remember to execute over the next 48 hours as part of my role in the planning team.

I woke at 5:20am today. My first thought was Lolly. I won't see her until Saturday night. For some reason, I miss her keenly already.

Yesterday morning, she stopped me from walking her to her classroom when we got to school. I was both impressed and taken aback. She's so quietly self-assured, this untainted girl. I am so pleased about that. Of course, it makes me feel somewhat redundant but... so what? This is what is supposed to happen. I guess it's just the first time that smarts the most, that's all.

To think that five years ago I was not buying baby clothes much beyond her current size. It was a crazy mindset I got myself into, not wanting to be left with an over-abundance of gorgeous clothing meant for her if I lost this baby too. After all, that had been my experience the time before her. It was a somewhat mechanical, certainly self-protective, thought process that I didn't really articulate at the time but acknowledged it as the reason behind my not going crazy at the till. Lucky Steve. At least I saved us lots of money.

So when my automatic first thoughts as I woke to this new day were "the end of first term and she's already ditched me, I'm so impressed! I guess this won't stop, this maturing will just keep going and going," it didn't surprise me much that I was somehow shocked by the realisation.

She's for keeps, this one. The fact still sneaks up and surprises me every so often.

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