And what, pray tell, do I do with THIS?

I have this paragraph here. I've written it down. It was part of some larger train of thought for the book that I hope desperately will arrive at my house again - Polar Express style - so I can catch it and it'll take me where this was going. Because I lost it. My train of thought, that is.

There's something profound here. I know there is. Can you see it?

Oh..... Darn it all anyway (to quote Clarke Griswold)!! This one is really going to grip me until I nut it out.

    I thought it was going to be something to do with having a baby (being fulfilled and happy and joyful). But the more I looked around me, the more I saw parents who weren’t happy. Who were complaining. Who were, quite frankly, victimising their position because of their “lot in life”. But there were also others who had it far worse and yet, were genuinely happy.
    I pondered this point deeply over my days in our empty home. I came to the conclusion that it was less about the circumstances (of being childless) and more about personifying joy. Alone. On my own. Separate from Steve and anyone we knew or anything we owned. It seemed so easy that I almost overlooked it as being important at all.