Keep going, keep going, keep going!

Internet, I need your help!

On the eve of the final week of this round of the 12-week body transformation I've been doing, I am ecstatic with what I have achieved.

I only made her walk down... Promise! This hill can only be walked up using your HANDS at one point.
Steep only just covers the word I'd use for the mother of all hills. Beautiful!

• I am arising before 6am five days out of seven to go for a gruelling walk-jog.
• If I don't get up, guaranteed, I get a 5:45am wake-up bark from Miss Jazz who checks her paw-time and lets me know. Uppy-uppy-uppy! NOW!!
• I jog. I am a person who jogs. I am one of those people I've always seen when I drive past them and think, "What possible enjoyment are you getting from running around like that?"
• I feel euphoric after I get home from burning 600-800 calories in around an hour. From jogging. Ahhh... I get it now.
• The mornings are MINE.
• My leafy community is simply stunning at about 6:15am, when the sun just spills over the furthermost mountain peak and splashes its weak rays onto the near hills and they all turn that amber colour. Just mesmerising. I almost feel cheated if I haven't got up there to the top of the opposite hill in time to witness it.
• The public access stairs around these hills are so challenging. They are actually exciting to conquer!
• I'm pushing myself further each week. In the past two months I have improved my 1.25km running speed by a little over one minute! Ya gotta be happy with that effort!
• I go to bed at night still feeling the deep-lung buzz in my body of the morning work-out. I feel more vital. More present in my body, physically, than I can remember ever feeling.

You want this. Buy it!

• Outdoor exercise: a first for me. And it's a definite keeper. On days when it rains, I have the most phenomenal trainer tucked away on my Wii..... my God, but I am grateful to her (Maya, I think her name is?) and actually find myself grateful to this computerised "person" for getting me through a strenuous 45-minute session and 400-500 calories burned. Truly. Amazing. When you think about it. It's a computer image. On the telly. How clever that it can make me sweat like I'm under a running shower!
• Jazz has lost weight. Yes, the dog is not so rotund any more. She is appreciating this health kick just as much as I am, I'm certain of it.





Okay, so that's my list. Not exhaustive but just what I can think of all at once right now.

What 8kg of weight loss looks like over 11 weeks

By far, I haven't lost as much weight as others doing this fitness training. I haven't even reached my main goal. Not by a long shot. BUT I have smashed two of my initial aims: 1) to go below a weight (and some) that has been taunting me and 2) to increase my fitness. Now that I have done this, and on the eve of truly being on my own with this without being on the program any more, it's time to continue with more specific goals.

• I want to get to 10kg lost before Christmas. That will make a 13kg loss for 2011.
• I want to lose another 10kg by the time Steve turns the Big 4-0 (in April). We'll see.

But please, a request of you, dear reader.....

Will you help hold me to it when I check in 

every so often with my progress? 

This isn't a weight loss journey blog by any means, but part of my overall path to wellness and completeness is how I feel about myself on the outside. It was obvious the timing to begin was perfect when I first came across that ad showing Michelle Bridges doing her Bee Gees hair-blown-by-a-fan thing (noice look!).

Now it's time to keep going.

Does anyone have pom-poms, by any chance? Care to give me an encouraging chant along the way until my end goal in April?

Only 99 to go.... Straight up. This is what 50 calories looks like at 6 in the morning

You wouldn't believe it but the fires on Black Saturday were ferocious through here in 2009

Hmmmmm shall we go left or right through the bush today, Jazzy?

Standing at the top looking down my 200-stair escape route after climbing 80m in just 100 steps...

Downward stretch towards home

On the importance of walking in your neighbourhood

When it comes to communities, I've only lived in a few in my life. Steve and I tend not to move around very much. As it is, the home we built just before we were married, we thought, would be the place we grew old in. It didn't happen that way.

Good thing too. For if we hadn't moved here, we would never have discovered the way one can truly be happy where they live.

There is no better way to learn about your community than walking or riding or jogging amongst it. I have come to realise that part of my lack of movement and desire to get out of the house and exercise was that I wanted to avoid people. You can see people who don't want to be disturbed or nodded to or "Good morning"-ed at as you pass each other and it is something I respect. It doesn't mean they're rude, it doesn't mean they're unfriendly. It could mean a number of other things, though.

But those who are up for a chat, well.... what a treat. In the past week, here are some new residents I have met on my pavement-pounding with Jazz:

•  Frank. I put out a tweet about him on Saturday because I was so taken by his crack-up line. Picture an elderly, barely shuffling gentleman, baggy walking clothes hanging on narrow, frail frame. Cap on head. Surprisingly unlined rough-shaven face and bright blue, sharp eyes. His lovely-natured Doberman is also elderly, but still has plenty of life in her - like dog, like owner. Frank tells me he's been coming to this particular park for twenty-five years. He and his wife retired here to Australia from England when he was in his sixties. That's some life, I think to myself. Frank takes a daily walk with a woman who specifically comes to this park to walk with them and her dog. They have met like this for over six years. When I meet her, I realise why it is either of them would take the time to walk with the other. They are both such wonderful, warm, friendly people and I can tell it is natural for them to just... be as I find them. Refreshing. I feel very blessed, as we walk, that they have allowed me, the interloping stranger with the dog who is barking shrilly because she's not getting a "turn" of the ball - oh, Jazz *sigh* - to join them on their daily ritual and I give quiet thanks that I have been given this opportunity to meet two people in my community whom I previously never knew existed.

"I'm 98," Frank tells me, half-proud and half-disbelieving tone... and then he corrects himself out loud, "Oh no, I'm not. Wait a minute, I'm 89. Oh, what's another decade."

Loved meeting him. I hope there will be other times. It's funny, isn't it, the instant care and concern one can feel towards another. I think this might be the essence of pure love - the detached care for another. Imagine if more of us felt this for more people (indeed, for all living things) without agendas, conditions, judgement or hierarchy. The world would be a far more evolved place, I can bet safely, I'm sure.

•  This morning, I took a 6-kilometre tough round trip that took me over an hour. Steep hills, blissful scenery and bush. I finally wound my way back down into "civilisation" and paved pathways. Jazz and I turned onto a street where there was a bloke in his forties, turning down the same street but on the opposite path. He was in a suit and carried a small terrier under his arm.

"That's a funny handbag," I nodded to him. He grinned (thank God... as soon as I opened my mouth to let out the first thing that hit my brain before I could censor myself, I thought this could end very embarrassingly).

"I couldn't find his lead this morning," the man replied. "And I have to take him for his walk."

I nearly bent over double laughing at the gorgeousness of this. Here's this guy, taking his dog for his morning "walk" because the dog can't do without it. I am still wiping tears. For some reason, this has struck me as so charming. Perhaps it was his suit. Or the fact that it was such a regal-looking little dog, up there in its chariot. Or maybe it's simply because I am recalling the rest of the encounter was one of those rather awkward moments where you don't know if the stranger is still talking to you.... you hear them talking but you're not expecting any more conversation so you've moved on, moved away. And then you hear them say something else. But are they talking to you? There was no one else, he was talking in a loud enough volume that I think I was supposed to hear. But I couldn't hear him. And he wasn't looking at me. But he was doing that loud-talking thing. Aaagh! So I did what any self-respecting stranger would do: I plastered a smile on my face and pretended I wasn't looking over at him to try and catch what he said and I looked off into the middle distance instead. Still with my smile on.

I think we both came away thinking the other was a little strange/crazy. Him for talking to himself and me for grinning at nothing like a loon.

Who's the crazy one? I ask you.

Do you enjoy your neighbourhood?

Tales from the #12wbt: Today, I made a weighty discovery

I found an expand-o-file thingy in the garage today. It contained a pile of papers and documents that basically chronicled the good stuff and praise I'd ever received in any of the four jobs spanning my 10 year-long office "career" I had before bearing my first (prem, ultimately not surviving) child.

I threw three-quarters of the paperwork out, easily and unemotively turfing it and keeping just a small handful of things for snapshot of workplaces in the 90's kind of purposes. It bore little significance to me now. So much so, for I had been so proud of it all once, that I had to step back and be gently with myself as I took stock of what had transpired in all the years in between then and now.

There were many times as I stood there sorting my office life where I recalled that forward-thinking Me as she slipped the documents into the archive file. She had put them there even as her belly expanded with who was to become our girl, Ellanor. She was expecting that one day, her son or daughter would like to know what his or her mother had been doing prior to becoming their mother.

Today, none of that seems to matter. The praise and achievements of a string of jobs that served only to pay off the mortgage - even though I put my heart and soul loyally into every workplace that hired me - are of no importance now.

It struck me deeply that I used to rate so highly my work-a-day jobs that, really, were soul-less. Why is it that I kept a succession of performance reviews with their studiously signed and counter-signed cover pages as evidence of having done anything worthy of this world, when I have been berating myself for the state of my body that has cleverly borne two live children and kept recovering through the loss of twelve others?

I didn't mean to write a post. This was meant to be a vlog only. I'll shuddup now. Here, watch me bare more honestly than I planned so please be gentle!:

A weighty discovery from Lolly Lovers on Vimeo.



Ok. Things I didn't say...:

• Firstly, I forgot to go back to my train of thought after Pepper kindly interrupted! Suffice to say, I realised that it was a conscious choice I had to make - to stop blaming my body gaining increasing amounts of weight seemingly unstoppable weight, stop blaming the pregnancies for affecting the hormones and making me a chemical jumble of a mess, stop blaming the IVF for setting up my already overloaded system, stop blaming every other external factor.... and stop blaming ME, possibly most importantly, for the decisions I was blindly, unconsciously making. Without that first step of ridding the blame, I couldn't have spurred myself into action.
• I have lost over 10kg so far in 2011 (I haven't stopped counting yet!). Although I have been told a lot in my life that I am "lucky" because I have no one problem area, it also means I have work to do everywhere! But it's true that whilst I may gain weight everywhere, I also tone everywhere evenly. Which is a blessing. So sometimes it's hard for anyone other than me to see I've gained or lost weight - a bonus, you might think, unless you're the one in a too-heavy body;
• No longer is it an effort to: climb out of bed, walk up a few stairs, get down on the floor to play with my child, squat to look in a low cupboard (my legs would cramp and ache within 30 seconds, so poor was my muscle "tone");
• After just seven weeks on this fitness program, my mindset is... well, set! It has been an emotional wasteland, that void between my head, heart and mouth (rather, willpower) - the realisation I had during this vlog (that I had given up) has really struck me.
• Plié (or sumo) squats with an upright row thrown in holding hand weights = killer! Ditto to a raised lunge (with front foot on a step). But these two techniques in particular, for me, feel oh so good. It feels so powerful knowing my thigh and glute muscles are working hard to raise and lower my upper body.
• I am feeling the familiar heady rush of adrenaline that I used to crave in the years when I went diligently to the gym and had a personal trainer. I had all but convinced myself in recent years that I didn't miss The Burn of working muscle and was too far gone to ever experience again. Amazing stuff when I know that just two months ago, I couldn't get off my couch without a LOT of effort and not a little bit of audible grunt to boot.
• No small thanks to Michelle Bridges' 12 week body transformation for the kickstart to my return to fitness.

Why I will never be a good jogger

It occurred to me this morning, as I jogged around the local park, that I will never be a jogger.

Hmmmm, what's that you say? Wasn't I jogging as I realised I would never make a good jogger? Well, yes. Of course. I mean, most of my realisations and "good ideas" come to me when I am jogging. I had a whole list of reasons why I was not going to make a good jogger by the time I had finished my run. And I was absolutely convinced of it by the time I had stopped, too.

Here, I'll give you the list I made and we'll see if you can guess what it was that so thoroughly convinced me:

• Location?  No, I am spoiled for choice about where I can go, including a grassy well-lit oval that's good all year round, no matter the time of day.

• Improper sports bra?  Well, yes. But no. I can get around the issue by wearing two. So that's not a good enough reason.

• Shin splints? Hell yeah. That's a good reason right there. Anyone who doesn't know what shin splints means obviously doesn't have the problem - let's just say, it is cross-eyed, blinding pain down your shin bones and aaaargh... I get them if I walk too powerfully. But I've discovered if I walk/run on grass, I'm good to go. And go. And go. So, no. This isn't the reason.

• It makes you stinky? Well, of course it does. But it's a goooood sweat. An invigorating sweat. And it's not a good enough reason for me not to jog. Pffft!

• Lack of music? I could always rectify this problem by taking the iPod out. I just forget and don't get organised. So, no. It's not that.

• I don't own any Lycra?  Nahh. The lack of spandex or purpose-bought running gear is not something I find makes me feel lacking at all. I can get by with a pair of long shorts and a manky singlet. Who's going to see me at 6 o'clock in the morning, anyway? Especially at this time of year? Let's face it, if I wasn't such an endorphin junkie, I would be tucked up in bed like the rest of you.

• I despise getting up early?  Pah! Poppycock! If any of you think it's this, you don't know me well enough. Early morning is my faaaaavourite time of the day. I feel cheated if I "sleep in", such a waste of that superb new-day vibe you get from being up and conscious before 7am (preferably before 6am! No, really!)

Look, all these things have merit on their own to be considered. But even put together, they are not nearly enough reason for me to stop persevering with the jogging.

No. There is one other thing that has me very close to stopping.

It's that gangly, boundy, slobbering, enthusiastic, hopeful eejit that gets under my feet in the hopes of getting my attention that does it. And I'm not talking about Steve when I'm trying to clean or cook in the kitchen, either.

Jazz. She is the singular cause for me jarring my body, doing quick leaps, dodging and just generally probably looking like I can't run a straight line to save myself to anyone watching from afar who hasn't spied the 50-odd pounds of flesh wrapped up in a chocolate brown fur coat that insists on placing tennis balls in my path. And then after she does that, she runs backwards - not terribly fast, as you might imagine - looking at me with those hopeful, pleading eyes.

I've half a mind to leave her at home. I can't, though. I simply cannot cheat her out of her chance to sniff and explore the world outside the gates. But maaaan, oh man, am I close.



How ever would I break it to her?

"Ball? My? Ball? You want? My ball? Ball? PLAY BALL? BALL????"

On the timing of eating

Hi!


I went to a Wellbeing conference last Saturday. Like some things, the structure was a little cumbersome and some of the speakers were not a good fit for the overall intention of the event. But one speaker was captivating. I took pages of notes. You know those people who have scads of great one liners and hints and tips and reel them off as if they're nothing and you're struggling to keep up with writing it all down? I could feel myself getting motivated just sitting there, before I had even had the chance to put anything he was saying into practice.

I wanted to share a few things that I learned. Some of it I know already, but like any good procrastinator knows (and I should have made a career of it, surely there are several where procrastination is an excellent prerequisite) I always forget that I know. Crazy.

With regards to the old fable, "Breakfast is the most important meal of the day so eat a big one":  We were advised that first thing in the morning is really not ideal (in terms of digestive 'fire', or ability) to take in a big meal. Or any food, really. If hungry, of course, the best thing is to eat something. But some people, like me, are simply not hungry in the morning. Not for several hours. I can understand why we're told to eat breakfast - it is, also for people like me, so that we don't go the entire day without eating a thing..... something that has caused my metabolism to keel over and go the way of a fish out of water. Incredibly detrimental to someone trying to lose weight!

So, instead, this week I committed myself to trying this - a freshly juiced vege and/or fruit juice (spruced up with a bit of stimulating fresh ginger root and turmeric, the all-round antibiotic, anti-histamine, toxin-absorbing wonder spice). It has been satisfying enough for my belly to have just juice in it, a very tasty brew, until around 9.30-10am.

This is convenient. Why? Because the optimal time during daylight hours for our bodies to digest - when they are at their optimal digestive peaks (and when they will break down and distribute food most effectively) is between 10am-2pm. During this four-ish hour stretch, I have been eating one or two (if I feel like it, or if I've eaten for the first time earlier than 10am) meals like scrambled eggs on toast, salmon sandwiches and salad, tuna salad and so forth, all of which have been satisfying me right through to late afternoon snack time (3pm-4pm). This time, incidentally, is also the best time for our bodies to ingest fruit. So I've been slicing up strawberries, apples and pear, amongst other things, and having a plate. It's been more than enough to get me through to supper. And we have been having 'proper suppers' here - literally, only anything you can 'sup' (sip). I made a green soup out of fried up garlic, white beans and zucchini (soooo delicious even Steve the anti-soup man ate it) with avocado on toast. So, we cheated with the toast bit. Mind you, 'light' eating can also involve fish or chicken, with pastas, couscous, potatoes... - just not your heavier meats, and not huge servings of anything.

They were really the key things the speaker specified. And it's so true - we just need to keep things simple. We live in an age where scientific facts are taken out of context from a healthy, balanced (key point!) lifestyle and are told to eat less/no carb's because they are 'bad for you' if you want to lose weight. Or graze throughout the day - small meals, often - which is (also surprising to learn) counter-productive to maintaining good digestive health. And so forth. I could go on, just with the stuff I've retained off the top of my head, without even going to my notes.

Having invariably followed the basic points of the conference speaker for five days now, I have to say I feel far lighter and more buoyant heading into the latter part of the week. This is including (or in spite of) the weird tummy bug I had at the beginning of the week that rendered me useless on Tuesday all day.

While I'm not exercising yet enough in my routine to be losing weight (not that I'd know for certain, I haven't weighed myself in months as our scales don't work), certainly not toning up anyway, I just feel so much more able to move around. I don't feel sluggish, I'm not waking up feeling like I have half a brick in my stomach. So the bounce and ability to get out of bed with a bit of a spring has been a welcome surprise. My body feels vital, in a word. Something I had been lacking, even with wheelbarrows full of vegies in my diet. I think I have just been eating at the wrong times (for my body).

I'm going to stick at this eating light at night thing, along with the biggest meal between 10am-2pm and a light if not liquid breakie (which suits me because of my slow-to-start appetite but may not be ideal for some who wake up ravenous) to see the long-term effect.

Just as an aside, interesting point to note and wondering if anyone else had ever noticed this, on that "waking up starving" thing.... I do get that too, but have noticed that it happens largely when I have over-eaten close to bedtime the night before.

And now, I don't have to do one of those medical disclaimer thingies do I? When I tell you all I'm not a doctor and advice in this post should not be substituted for the professional opinions of your health care provider? (Although, just quietly, that "eat a big breakfast" baloney which had me fooled really is something not to pass up without consideration or trial........ I'm just sayin'..... it may also work for you, if you're looking to change up your eating habits a bit. And while I had to pay $85 for the privilege of this information, and more, I'll give you that tip for free ;)

Happy dance

I asked for a weigh and measure this morning when I went to the gym. Just thought it might be a good idea to get a close-to-starting-point, seeing as I started seriously going again regularly about a month ago.

Now, considering my last weigh and measure was taken during this fiasco and I really haven't been more than half a dozen times in six months and let's just factor in that I haven't been in over a week due to the LGBB being sick (and I had a UTI - wahoooo, lucky moi - which I am still not completely over).... I'm very excited to say I've lost a whopping 21.5cm's in total!! Granted, this figure is over a three month period. But still, it proves why the new bra I ordered with a dear friend who now sells lovely intimates was loose after just a fortnight (I bought it at the beginning of my start back at the gym after the raising of the tooth) - she was right, it wasn't abnormally fast stretching of the bra.... it was weight loss! WOOT!!

A word about watchers of weight

I'll have you know, I do try to watch my carbs and fat intake. Sure, I don't have the derriere yet to prove it (working on that), but I do.

Take this morning - I was in the fridge section at the supermarket, checking the specials on cream cheese. The usual Philly CC wasn't on special but next to it, a known diet/weight loss company brand was on special. Ooooh, goody, 45c off! thought I. A saving is a saving, my mother of Scottish ilk always taught me.

So I checked the label to compare its fat/carb per 100g as I have been long programmed to do (it may be a girl thang, I don't know). And I discovered a most shocking thing.

Not only did the weight loss brand alternative have .1g more carbs per 100g (not huge, granted, and I would've given them that if it had only been the one tiny smidge more than the Philly), it had over 15g of fat to the 100g!! 15! The Philly cream cheese, in comparison, has just 4.7g per 100g (the light version of it, of course).

Now, call me nitpicky, but I just don't think that's cosher. You would expect this other company to have meals and options that are low in fat and/or carbs and to be the better option on the shelves. In many instances, I am sure they are. But I couldn't believe it! And what's more, I had to reeeeally squint to see it. The values label was black (faint and a very small, thin font) against a nice royal blue. Hmmmm. Bit tricky of them for starters. And the label also only highlighted the total sugars, not the fat content at all.

I've learned that if you get something low fat, the carbs (total - not just the saturated fats or sugars making up the carbs) usually skyrocket. If you get something that is low in carbs and reasonable in fat, then you're on a winner. For instance, that Philly CC: 8.4g carbs and 4.7g fat. Ok, so not ideal. But also not outside the realms of consumption if you're trying to watch what you eat.

But 15.3g fat and 8.5g carbs? That's just dubious.

Oh wow!

I had a refocus sesh last night at my gym. Although I've noticed changes in my clothing, I hadn't properly kept tabs on my starting point compared to where I am, measurement-wise, right now.

I've lost 7cm's off my thighs in under five months! That's awesome, if I do say so my darn self. Not to mention reductions in all the other right places, but this was the most exciting to me.

I thought I was wearing out the upper inside legs of pants less frequently than in the past couple of years.....

Who said gluten free was tedious?

I feel like dinner tonight: A gluten free base, topped with sugarless - I opt for zero added sugar on every label I read now, no more excuses or short-cuts - tomato paste, mushrooms, cherry tomatoes and red onion. Topped with dots of ricotta and sprinkled with basil. And for extra decadence, some guacamole on the side to dip it into.

Uh.... that'd be me. Because six years ago, when I first went on the Candida Diet to (you guessed it) clear up the candida that was triggered by a combination of anti-biotics and multiple pregnancies in a short space of time, it was so hard.

Why was it so hard?! And why have I waited this long to get back to the gluten and dairy free diet I know my body needs and works best on? I am indulging in a bit of chocolate here, a bagel there... and it feels so good. It feels good to not be giving myself these "reward" foods on a constant, daily basis and makes them all the more enjoyable when I do splurge.

I have even cut coffee down. Now, I was a 3-5 cups a day gal once upon a time. When I reduced it two years ago to one a day (and I snuck in an extra one or two every few days), I thought that was very good of me. Phenomenal, in fact.

Since the detox I did about a month ago, I'm lucky if I have three coffees in a WEEK! Unheard of!

I'm loving this. And my previously aching, weary, stiffened joints are too.

Nooooooooo!!!!

Cheds.

I just had a hankering for Cheds. And now I have a craving for Cheds. I can't stop tasting them. Or saying the name in my head.

And I won't stop thinking about Cheds til I get a box.

Nooooooo!! My two week old wheat and dairy free diet has been severely compromised!

The long overdue curvy body update

I promised myself, quietly, that I would keep a running update of my body shape changing success (or otherwise) here, to keep myself motivated.

I just finished the six-week intensive challenge set down by the gym. Weekly training with a personal trainer who put me through my paces - each week, I shared my food diary with her and she tailored a program to my body type - and I had to commit to attending at least three times per week and keep my heart rate at over 75% for the entire workout.

I did all that. Except the past two weeks I could only get there twice in a week. I was really disappointed in that, because I wanted to see how much I could change (and hopefully lose, in weight) in that six weeks. I injured my calf half way through, which made anything to do with my legs impossible these last two weeks. I still cannot squat (which is hard with a toddler) as it siezes and is excruciating - all stemming from my lower back, which I am working on from a Peace Space perspective. More on that some other time - I'm sorry, I know I say that a lot!

At the end of it, it was just half a kg loss on the scales. HOWEVER.... 9cm total lost on my bicep, bust, waist, hip and thigh measurements! Not bad in six weeks. So I am guessing a fair bit of the lack in weight change is a reduction of body fat and increase in dense muscle. The proof is in the measurements and how many of my clothes now fit me nicely. I look at my upper arms and can see they are smaller. This is saying something. I am usually very derogatory, but at the moment I am really attempting the Think Positive attitude.

I am going to persevere with the new regime (exercise at least three times per week and keep that heart rate up while I'm there), along with eating more often - my biggest enemy was a sluggish metabolism due to my lack of eating for hours and hours and sometimes not for an entire day from dinner time to dinner time (yikes), coupled with a serious shortage of protein. I've upped this to the 1g per 1kg of body weight they have recommended for maintaining healthy muscle. I guess you could say I am fortunate in that I build muscle incredibly easily, however this can cause an awful, hefty and somehow masculine body shape if I don't exercise (heh!) a little restraint. At my peak, just a few years ago, I could bench press 40kg and I maxed out on the leg press at 25okg. Yes. 250. Ridiculous! Just because you can, doesn't mean you should. I had gargantuan thighs that made me look more beefy than lean. So I am also going to go light on the weights and do more repetitions to keep it a more cardio-based workout each time, with a little weight added in for resistance.

But the true test is going to be in maintaining my own drive and determination to reach my goal. I have enlisted Steve to help me here - I am going to get him to keep measuring me for incentive. I asked him to measure me on Tuesday night (I will keep it at Tuesdays like it was with my trainer) and so far, in the past week:

Another 2cm off my thigh
Another 2cm off my bust
Gained 1cm on my bicep
Gained 2cm in the waist
No change in my hips

... so that's 13cm in just seven weeks! Huzzah!!! It's working!

I can take the bust and thigh measurements as accurate because I used the same method to find the point at which my trainer's been measuring me. My biceps, hips and waist are a bit more iffy and inaccurate but now that Steve is doing it, we have a new benchmark to go off for each week from now on.

I've decided to only look at my weight every six weeks and see if there's a change. Doesn't mean I won't hop on the scales and see what I'm doing, but I am only going to mark it that far apart.

Got a long way to go to reach my goal weight, but now I'm thinking the weight isn't as important as losing the cm's. I think I have to keep this in mind as my more realistic target because I am quite obviously *aherm* a dense person. Oy! Enough with the snickering.

Boot Camp City, Baby!

More on my adventures up to Peace Space to do Crimson class in a later post (it was so unutterably amazingly well-timed, with its "beginning New Life" information, which has been set in motion in the manuals for months now, was so heartening to hear.. given our current dire situation here in Victoria).

But today, dear reader, I would like you to hold me accountable. For the promises I made last night to my trainer at the gym.

Ho yes, Operation Kick That Flab To The Curb has fired up again in earnest this year by me. I was stalled on the fitness front by the H,F&M for about four months last year - just not up to it, health-wise - and I've made recent starts to get into it again, but when I found out there's a six week intensive going on at the gym I go to... well, I just HAD to sign up!

So. It entails committing to keeping a food diary, increasing my protein (in order to build healthy muscle), resting more, eating more (woo hoo!) and exercising at least three times a week for the next six week - thereby, hopefully, getting back in to my fitness groove of yesteryear and enjoying my previously healthy and fit body and mind. I also had another weigh and measure and am ecstatic to discover another itty bitty loss since my refocus sesh just under two weeks ago. "A loss is a loss", and that's a positive thing when you're talking "weight loss".

My list of goals for this first week:

• To eat every 2-3 hours (ooops, or was it 3-4.... dang!) - I believe this is probably KEY for my weight loss because I can have a coffee for "breakfast", manage to get a few bites of toast in by midday, eat lunch at 4pm and then dinner around 7 o'clock. We don't eat poorly, we just eat weird hours around here!
• Drink more water more often - yes I know. Another key. Key, key, key! I'm good at skolling 1 Litre in the final few hours before bedtime if I think the 3-4 glasses I've had for the entire day wasn't enough.
• At least two more visits to the gym - I've begun getting up at 6am to go in then.

All this, to me, points to my little subconscious self screaming out for some ME FIRST time.

My 6-week end goal is to comfortably fit into the size I am juuuuust squeezing into (I've just reached it after already dropping 3 dress sizes since early November, which I can hardly believe - most of it, don't be letting me fool you or depressing you now, is hormonal fluid). My longer term (3 month?) plan is to drop one more dress size and then I'll be at my ideal.

I'm not too sure about that. I will believe it when I see it. But I seem to have some over-achieving disorder in my brain. I mean, I'm already on the precipice of getting back into the size I was before having the LGBB (I worked really hard after having Ella and scraped my way back down but never fully got rid of those last kilo's from my pregnancy with her).

I cannot keep "blaming" pregnancy hormone weight, although I do maintain that my pregnant-weary body has been thrown into disarray - though cycles have always been so consistent, bless their cotton socks, thankfully - so I plan to be enjoying my newly-shaped smaller bod for at least the remainder of 2009 before giving it back over to any new little sibling that may or may not make it into the LGBB's (and our) life.

My, what a hotch-potch of a post this seems to be. I feel like I haven't written forever, such has been my focus on the fires here. But I need to strike some balance now. Have a decent sleep. Keep praying. Re-stock.

More later...

Just a dash

I'm agog, myself, to suddenly find that I have dropped (in what seems like a matter of days) weight. Visibly just all of a sudden become more toned. I have a waist, without a roll in the centre of my sides! I have a figure! Awwmigord. It's taken only a couple of weeks of diligence too - I would like to thank the Wii Fit, my dog (for jogging with me) but defo not the parents... because their combined genetics created this lifelong hurdle to beat not the bulge, but mostly fluid and slow metabolism. My father never spoke more true words to me than when I was about 22, when he warned me with a wagging finger, "You have to be careful what you eat, you girls, because it goes on easily and is difficult to take off." I was a size 8-10 then. I thought it a little backhanded of him, because I looked a bit like a head on a stick - I have really broad shoulders - and certainly didn't need to take off any more.

Okay, so maybe he also kind of sealed my fate saying that because - hey, presto! it's been happening ever since. Maybe he jinxed me.

I also bulk up super-fast and that is something I have to really watch. I can go from flabby/fluidy up top to Incredible Hulk in a week. Kid you not. So the scales have moved slightly recently, but the biggest teller for me (as they say you should watch) is the fact that I am edging ever closer to my pre-pregnancy size. Not weight (for I have been around that mark for about a year now). Funny how much my body shape and fitness changed. Although I have been back to what I weighed before getting pregnant with the LGBB - give or take a fluctuating and annoying 3-4kg - I've continued to look NOTHING like I did when I got myself back to as close to my personal peak fitness as I could get (after having Ella and then coping with the subsequent two miscarriages and IVF), because the weight has come from the unflattering fat and fluid, not from healthy muscle tone like it was before. Bleurgh, not a nice way to play Stacks-On! That is hard weight to shift, let me tell you, that sudden-hormones-up, sudden-hormones-down stuff. Grrrrrr.

So. In the past fourteen days of being measured and tested by the Wii Fit, I have lost some weight on nine of those days! Not too shabby *buffs nails on deflating chest* The scales in the bathroom are steady and they don't fluctuate the 2-4kg they were (in a day, I could stack it on and take it off, such were my whacked biorhythms). But as I said, the biggest bonus came for me, yesterday, when I walked out of a shop with a shirt that was three sizes smaller than tops I was scared I would never be too small for only about three months ago.

Don't mind if I high-five myself for this one. I'm so relieved. And so are my lungs (I get this awful asthmatic wheeze when I carry too much fluid and fat between my neck and hip area). Not to mention my mental health is mucho better. It was all feeding each other and I fear a relapse somehow, sometime, but I have to keep edging forward as long as I'm trying my best... don't I?

I'm going back for a refocus sesh next week too at the gym, after giving that one away around the time of the Hand Foot and Mouth marathon we ran for four months last year. It's time to go back and it's time to go hard, see if I can't knock another 10kg on the head, 'eh?! (I can think wishfully)

A fair way to go still, but a bloody good middle-point for now.

Home is where the heart is

An excerpt from the latest MassAttack newsletter that I thought was timely and ought to be shared:

Old sayings such as “Home is where the heart is” and “Behind every great man is a great woman” came about for good reason. We, dear ladies, are an integral part of many peoples’ lives. We are nurturers, lovers, wives, mothers, chefs, gardeners, chauffers, bankers, nurses, cleaners and many other things to many other people. I hate to say it, but without us, things would start to fall apart.

Which is why we SHOULD ALWAYS LOOK AFTER OUR HEALTH!

Without our health, we simply can’t do what we need to, and we can’t be what we need to be to those around us. This time of year is especially taxing and adequate energy comes in as a top priority for most of us. Why then, is it so easy for our energy to slip through our fingers at those times when we need it most? We either have a half-filled tank or we’re constantly running on empty. Thankfully, the main energy zappers are within our control and if we can make ourselves tired and unwell, we can certainly make ourselves well again. NOW is the time to do something about it by implementing the following tips.


You are what you eat: energy comes directly from the food we eat so it’s easy to see why a poor diet results in poor energy production. Lifestyle factors (alcohol, tea, coffee, caffeinated soft drinks, drugs, refined carbs) and stress can contribute to nutritional deficiencies that sets you up for part-time exhaustion (and can easily develop into full-time exhaustion).Your MassAttack food tables are developed to provide you with the necessary nutrients to boost your energy levels and sustain good health and well being.
Skipping girl: mornings rarely leave us with enough time to calmly get organised for the day and it’s often breakfast that is overlooked as we race out the door. I can’t stress enough how important breaky is. The type of breakfast you eat dictates how you will feel throughout the day by establishing how much sugar is in your blood and therefore, how much energy you will have for the day. Aim for a mix of protein and whole grains to release sugar into the bloodstream slowly.
The internal drought: just about everything we need our body to do requires water and due to the amount we lose every day (about 2 litres), it is essential that we replenish this loss. Simple dehydration is a major cause of energy depletion so it’s time to drink up. One method used to calculate how much we should drink is 35ml of water per kilo of body weight. You may also notice improvements in migraines, memory, constipation and hypotension.
Stress less: every stress leaves its mark. Adequate magnesium levels, which are essential for energy production, are drastically reduced with prolonged stress and high levels of cortisol can result in adrenal exhaustion, a problematic immune system and escalating digestive disorders. Work on some stress reduction techniques and think about including supportive nutrients such as the B group vitamins, magnesium, fish oil, and vitamin C.
Sleep tight: it’s impossible to maintain optimal energy without regular, adequate sleep (usually 7-8 hours a night). Sleep supports and rejuvenates the immune system, facilitates the recovery of metabolic processes and gives your nervous system time to recoup.
Liver me timbers: as food provides the fuel for energy production, the liver and digestive tract make good use of this food to enable our body to utilise the all important nutrients it contains. It’s important to maintain regular bowel motions to allow the body to eliminate waste and continue to absorb nutrients. A sluggish bowel creates a sluggish body so increase your intake of fibre to keep things moving and add some bitter foods to your diet.
Get moving: exercise stimulates circulation in order to deliver nutrients and oxygen around the body. It also helps eliminate toxins and waste products, stimulates digestion, absorption and metabolism. Include some exercise into your day where you can; go for a walk at lunchtime, take the stairs or do isolated crunches at your desk.
So this Christmas make sure that you take some time to look after yourself – it’s a gift that everyone will benefit from! After all – if the woman of the house is happy, every one is happy!

Emma Scasni is a qualified naturopath at MassAttack Health Clinic and has a keen interest in women’s health. Emma is passionate about all aspects of natural health and is happy to offer support and advice to new and existing MassAttack members. MassAttack specializes in natural treatment programs for women with hormonal imbalances such as PCOS, Fibroids, Endometriosis & thyroid imbalance. Narelle Stegehuis, CEO of MassAttack, is the recipient of the Australian Naturopathic Excellence Award 2006 and can be contacted at info(at)massattack.com.au

Eight

Count 'em. Not two, not five. Not seven.

Eight. 8! EIGHT!! Eight.

I had a weigh and measure today at the gym and I have shaved 8cm's off my E-cup bust in four weeks. I thought I felt more comfortable.

Okay, so I'm cheating here a bit and have to clarify that my boobs were after all expecting to feed a baby in 7 or so months at last measure (I was newly unpregnant and had gone back for a "let's go from square one" weigh and measure).

My last weigh and measure was done on June 12, just before I fell pregnant. And I was happy with those first results, having begun at the gym after the miscarriage before that (I put on fluid terrifyingly fast with a pregnancy and as The Guardian Friend said on seeing a bump shot I took this last time, at 8 weeks, "My God, luv, you look about 18 weeks along there already!" and then she gave me a hearty "Er.... good luck....").

So, this month on my two steps forward, one step back parlay through exerciseland, the results are:

8cm off bust
3cm off biceps
2cm off waist
2cm off hips
1cm off calves
1cm on thighs (noooooooooooooooo!)

... and a whopping great .9kg weight loss *lone cricket chirping* But hey, a loss is a loss, people.

One month update

Yeah, so it's over a week late (I was measured last week) and I had that gastro to help me cheat a bit .... but my first month of results at the circuit gym are in!

Total loss: 1.6kg (where the .6 makes ALL the difference cuz that's, like, only .4 off another kg...)

2cm off biceps
2cm off waist (damn wine)
3cm off hips
3cm off thighs

Three! Off my thighs!! Awwwwesome.

Now, I had a bit of a test going. My plan was to not do anything different but simply join and start exercising with weights and cardio for a month. These were the results. Bearing in mind it was actually more like 5 weeks, and also remembering I lost two weeks to illness (so didn't go in during those two separate weeks), I think this is a pretty promising start. Despite mentally committing myself to 3 sessions a week, I've barely been in twice a week. In fact, this week is the first time I have done 3 sessions (or it will be, once I do tomorrow's scheduled visit). I wish I had pushed myself more, but I am still getting used to finding time at the start of the week so that I don't get to Friday and go, "Shit, there's no way I'll be able to go in three times before Monday comes round again."

No more excuses.

I obviously had it to lose, for it to go so easily, and there's more where that came from *Mr Potato Head angry eyes* So now that I see where my baseline is, I am going to be more diligent with the sugary drinks and food of the naughty variety. Stop the night snacking as a reward - a dreadful habit I have picked up since dreamfeeding days with the LGBB, where I would "reward" myself with a glass of wine or a sweet snack. Sweeeeeet. Very, very naughty. Very, very ... not needed.

In the interests of partial disclosure

I hereby document that I have officially started back at the gym. Oh yays, and what a long time coming was the motivation.

Thankfully, I have it on good authority from the personal trainer who did my new circuit routine that since I've been quite fit in the past (we're not talking marathon quality, but I did do some pretty enormous weights at my peak five years ago, like 250kg leg press and 40kg bench press, so not too shabby), it shouldn't take too long to regain my tone.

It just seems far too far out of reach right now. But this morning, after my third workout (this being the first one under my own steam and not taking it easy getting used to the machines or how Contours works), the familiarity of the ache and tightness in just about every muscle in my body is really rewarding and gives me great motivation to keep going.

Now, this post is titled "partial disclosure" because there is no way on this green earth that I am going to divulge what I weighed in at last night or my measurements. I will be updating on the monthly reductions of these though.

*cough* Is it possible to lose 20cm around your waist in a month? *cough* I don't know what I'm aiming for - except that I just want to fit into everything I already own and then find them swimming on me one magical day - and I have only a vague idea what the figures were last night, as the trainer whisked them away from my sight and I didn't make a point to ask.

All I know for now is, I am a loooooong way from being the girl who didn't jiggle anywhere when she box skipped on the spot (not least of all because my pelvic floor has well and truly gone into holiday mode for the time being). And that was after giving birth the first time.

I shall get back there again. As blog is my witness.